


Silver Lining (mcfassy)

by lizzyciel



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: British, Drama, Family, Fanfiction, Love, M/M, McFassy, Romance, Vacation, celebrity, hexham, unexpected, wife - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-24 23:29:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 34,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3788356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzyciel/pseuds/lizzyciel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael had it all, fame, fortune and the undying love of his fans. but it was always empty, he went on a vacation to find himself and space from the crowded world, only to find his bitter-sweet love story with a married man. ( or so he thought). . . </p><p> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>please excuse my English, it is not my first language.<br/>but please enjoy :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ch. 1 : a descending glory

**Author's Note:**

> this work was originally from wattpad, i wanted to share it with this community, because i need critics to improve my English. and because i idolize works from here before. . . 
> 
> so please enjoy :)

Michael's P.O.V  
My life is perfect ... Well not really perfect but, comfortable. But everyone has a problem, in my case it's my life being 'too comfortable', not that it's a bad thing, its just there is a time in a man's life when you feel suffocated by everything.  
I have thousands of adoring fans, a comfortable life and a job that brings out the best of me. But, i still feel the emptiness eating me inside.  
I strived to fill this void, with my work. But nothing changed, until someone finally noticed. It was Charles Keith, my manager, he went up to me, as i was in my dressing room.  
"Whats the problem?" He said with a spark of anger.  
"What do you mean?" i questioned being puzzled by the other.  
"Your not the same anymore! What kind of acting was that? It was obviously half-assed!" Charles raising his voice a notch.  
" I know" i said simply  
"You know! That's all you have to say? This is your job, be professional!" He said slamming his hand on the table, near the door. He turned and peeked at me.  
"Tell me the problem and we would fix this, now TELL ME WHATS WRONG?!" He added almost reaching a new set of octave.  
"My life it too . . . Perfect. No problems, at all. the only thing that's keeping me at my feet is this job, and now i can't even do that right. What am i suppose to do?" I retorted  
" i'm not judging you, but . . . that isn't really a problem, on the contrary a lot of people want that in life" he said with truth in his voice  
" I feel nothing any more! just a boredom that can't be quenched . . . even this job is starting to bore" I exclaimed  
" This may as well be stress talking, so how about a vacation, a one month vacation. Will that help?" He said, while slowly calming down  
" I'm not really sure, but I'll try it" i agreed  
While i finished the shoot of the day, Charles was going on a shouting marathon to persuade the board of directors to allow the leave.  
Of course to me nothing would be achieved, either way. Then I looked towards the waving Charles, giving a grin of approval.


	2. Ch. 2 the new start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)

Michael's POV  
By this time, i was free to do whatever i wanted. I sat at my apartment alone, changing the channel of the telly every once and a while. I would roll around the couch for a while, then the channel went to BBC1, featuring "the best places to tour around England". I was charmed by Hexham, one of the features in the show.  
i had a little time to think, and thought 'this could be it''. i checked for possible transportation on the net and found a possible way of getting there.  
I looked at the clock it was 3:14 pm. I immediately booked a private coach ticket and packed my bags. I called for a cabbie, went to the train platform.  
I stood there with only a few other passengers, a set of teen age girls stared at me and whispered to each other. they walked towards me and spoke  
"sir are you really, Mr. Michael Fassbender" one of them, a brunette pale teen, asked while the other quietly stared, have a growing flush red face.  
"sorry, miss I don't know who your talking about. . . maybe you got the wrong person?" i said persuading her and avoiding the other stare, for them to not recognizing me.  
"oh, I am sorry to bother you sir" the brunette smiled and walked away  
i heard her companion shake her on the arm and whisper "that's really HIM! that's Michael Fassbender"   
i just pretended not to hear or notice the suspicion   
*******************************************  
It was already 5:48 and the train was suppose to arrive at 4:30. I tapped my foot as i impatiently wait.  
I plugged in my earphones and played a few song, before the rumbling of the earth, shook me alarming of the in coming train.  
I hid my iPhone and earphones in my coat's pocket. I went in the train, and went to coach 10, and sat at a seat, i took out a small pocket book.  
As i read, i heard a knock at my door. I opened it to see a scruffy looking man with hazel hair and light blue eyes, he pushed his luggage forward.  
"Excuse me mate, this is a private coach, what are ya doin' ?" i said in an awkward way, as he was a stranger  
"Mate, it says, i would stay in couch 10, so for all i know this is where i am staying" showing me his ticket as he spat his words, before throwing his weight on a seat.  
I went out and called for a coachman, and he assisted me to the coach to ask for help. He saw through our tickets and spoke to one of his colleagues.  
He then spoke, in a nonchalant voice.  
"Sorry, sirs for the mishap. It seems the system has had a mix up, unfortunately we don't have anymore free coaches... It seems you both have to share" he said while gesturing the other passenger  
"It looks like your stuck with me mate" he said with a little smug smirk  
I fell quiet and just sat down, i gave up and just pretended like no one was there, i continued to read my book. Then the stranger went on to be chatty, starting off with  
"Hi mate, names James, James Mcavoy" he said while giving a bright smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please critic :)


	3. Ch.3 habbits and memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please enjoy :)

James POV  
The man i was speaking to gave a shocked look, he stared at me a moment and gave a little awe of amazement.  
"You mean, you don't know me?!" He said almost shouting  
"Eeehh, should i know you?" I replied  
"No-no its just been a long time" he said finally giving a smile, it was somehow indescribable maybe the closest word is, cute?  
How could that be! A grown man cute? I must have drank too many whiskeys last night.  
"My name's Michael Fassbender, sorry for the late introduction" he said meekly and awkwardly  
"Your like a walking cocoon, you shouldn't be that tense to greet, a fellow stranger" i said smirking  
We stop talking, as an awkward burst of air pass between us. Neither of us was really at all interested in the other.  
I ran my eyes else where, but it fell on the other presence. i looked closely, at Michael i noticed he had a clean-cut look, wearing a grey coat, buttoned up and black pants with well polished leather shoes, that looked expensive as is, but looked more of value as he wore it. . . But it was odd everything he wore looked brand new, except for a gold watch he was wearing on his left hand leaning on the train window, it was somehow obviously rusted. But over all everything was in place, he even has a good looking face.  
I somehow knew 'this is not an normal person'  
But as i stared, i notice him reading a book, it was hardbound, the pages were old and brown pigments surround the sheets of crisp paper. Even from a far i can see Some holes were visible on the pages.  
"A road to no tomorrow" i spoke aloud, reading the title in the cover. I accidentally caught the attention of the other. But the title sizzled on my tongue, it was familiar but distant in my memory. I sat quietly, until i finally remember. . .  
" Do you know the story?" Michael asked breaking the silence.  
"well, yes. . . sort of, my wife would usually read that all the time. i never really read it, she would just talk about it non-stop that i practically memorised the whole book" i said smiling, but feeling the weight of an unseen force on my shoulders, dragged my face to a sad expression.  
"i see, it may be rude to ask but where's your wife?" he said giving a tad of curiosity on his face.  
"I am actually going to her now, that's why I'm going to hexham" i said and just plastered a smile  
"so you lived in Hexham before?" he asked, now putting his book down beside him  
"Well my wife did, and now she's staying there for awhile now" i said, trying to keep the mile  
"I see, I guess you'd miss her if you don't see her as much" he said smiling  
"you don't even know the half of it . . . but, what about you mate, what bring's you to Hexham?" I asked  
"nothing much really, I just felt like the world was . . . let's say empty" he said simply, i understood him somehow  
time passed by as we chatted, it was probably already midnight, the train would stop at hexham at eight am.  
'I've got enough time to sleep' i thought before drifting off, leaving Michael awake once again reading the book.


	4. ch.4 truth that is within

Michael's POV

it was already one thirty am, James already dosed off. but somehow thinking about him is unclear, it was evident that he was not comfortable with me asking questions about his wife.   
he appeared to have the world on his shoulders, but still manages to smile. this sparked an curiosity within me, but it was never right to meddle, which is my personal fault.  
"I'm sorry. . . I'm sorry" James suddenly spoke in a slurred and drowsy way, he kept saying it within his sleep.  
i somehow felt mix feelings from seeing him like this, he seemed weak and harmless. i touched the cheek of his skin and felt a chill, he was just wearing jeans and a T-shirt after all, in the middle of this autumn season. took off my coat and draped it over the other body, feeling the warmth he cuddled the coat near his chest. I then took the   
opportunity to sleep as well.

*knock-knock*  
I heard the sound coming from the door, and bells rang   
signaling it was my stop. i shook James to wake him up, he didin't respond and continued his slumber, I shook him more fiercely   
"ok-OK i'm awake!" he said barely opening his eyes.   
"we have to hurry this is our stop" i said picking up my things  
hearing that, James immediately stood up picked up his luggage and went off, not even saying goodbye.  
I picked up my bags and walked out of the train, the scenery was wonderful, the trees embracing the earth beneath my feet, a breeze of cold air made me shudder, only to remember . . .

"Where's my coat?!" i said frantically, then it suddenly hit me 'my phone was in the pocket'

i was determined to find James and get back my coat, but before that i checked in on my hotel room in Langley castle, good thing my wallet is in my pants right pocket. a bellboy carried my bags to my suite and gave me the key, the room was spacious and had a Gothic theme befitting of the castle' history.  
then I set off looking for james around this small town 'how hard can that be' i said with enthusiasm.  
I walked around for a few hours, my feet felt numb and tired. i wanted to rest, i walked again for a few minutes, before finding a pub at the left side of the sidewalk.   
It had a rustic feel, the steps going was creaking at my every step. i opened the door as it chimed, i sat at the bar's front.  
The shop was bustling with people's laughs and chants, in their private tables. While us near the bar, were supposedly quiet.

"May i help ya' " the old bartender asked me, reveling an Irish accent, while wiping a margarita glass

"Scotch, one glass" i said, as i lifted my feet to rest on my knee.  
I took in about, two more glasses, before the bartender noticed i was still up and unaffected.

"You can hold your liquor, that's really strong stuff ya' know" he said leaning on the counter  
I just smiled as a reply, since i knew the reason for this. In my job, going out and drinking is a must to accompany fellow actors and directors.

"Unlike that man, who obviously can't hold his liquor but still stays" he added pointing to a corner of the bar, a brunette leans on the wall, chugging a bottle of vodka. His face was bright red and obviously drunk, as he mumbled about.  
I looked closely to the man, it looked like James, wait, that is James! 

"James?" I unconsciously slipped

"You know him?" The bartender asked, giving me a look

"Well yeah, sort of" i said as i took my last sip 

" ya' know him, take him! His too drunk to even stand up straight" 

"But i don't really know him that well" i said in defense

"But, if ya' know him, ya' know him! That's all just take him!" He persistently said, before i gave in and followed.  
I went up to James, and shook him once more. 

"James-James" i said as he grumbled

"What?! Who?!" He muttered

" it's me Michael, I'm taking you home. . . Where do you live here" i asked 

"Nowhere" he answered

"Then where does your wife live?" I rephrased to maybe jog his memory

" oh, if that's what your looking for, i'll show you" he said before standing up to weak feet.


	5. Ch. 5 meeting matches

Michael's POV

I took it upon myself to help him up, i put his arm around the back of my neck to support his weight.  
On the other hand, i carried all his luggage which was luckily only a suitcase and a duffle bag.  
We walked out of the pub swaying, as James struggled and moved around.

James directed me the way to his wife, but was slowly alarmed as we went further and further, to the end of the town, until we reached an small old church, behind a black iron gate.  
Thinking this was just drunk thoughts playing in his head, i tried to stop him. But he prevailed and pushed me off, his feet struggled to align, as he slowly stepped and pulled him self through the gate.

I followed behind him trying to help, but he would fuss and push.

"I can do it, i don't need you" he kept saying, as he tried prove his independence. 

I looked around to see the front of the church was a cemetery. I felt a cold breeze pass, making me shudder.   
James just continued on, supporting himself, by leaning in the headstones. I just blankly followed him, until i couldn't catch up, because i was avoiding the growing paranoia from every sound i hear. 

I faced everything with a stoic face, trying to stay composed.   
Until i found James kneeling and crying in front of a grave.

"Im home" he said, puzzling me .  
i looked at the name of the owner of the grave to see three enlisted names.This is when i finally realized the reason for the weight in his sweetest smiles, and the sadness in his eyes.

"Cecilia Mcavoy, a loving wife and mother of two, Jamie and Justin Mcavoy, loving children that holds pure innocence" i read aloud.


	6. Ch.6 foundation of doubt

James' POV

"ughhhhh" i grumbled at the thumping pain in my head, the pain was somehow soothed as i felt the sleek white sheets covering me from the waist down. 

A cooling sensation breezed my bare back as. . . Wait, bare back?! My thoughts wondered, as i suddenly sat up. I looked at the foreign scenery of a hotel, i looked at my top to see my bare torso. 

I looked under my sheets to see if what i horror was true. To be calmed by the seeing my garments still on.   
I heard the dripping of water in the shower, what kind of person has brought me to this lavish hotel room. Still i feel anxiety running through me, a squeak of the shower knob added to it, as the robbed body walked in to the scene.

"What the? Michael!" I said almost screaming

"Good to see your awake" he said almost not surprised.

" What happened? Why am i here? More importantly . . . Did something happen?" I questioned with utmost worry

" Relax, you passed out and since i don't know where your staying, i carried you back here" he said calmly, while handing me a glass of water, which i accepted

"Where did you find me anyway?" I asked 

"It's a long story" he said simply

As a stepped on the floor, i shuddered from the cold, i observed some cuts and bruises on my foot.   
I experienced pain around my body, maybe its because of the hangover. But looking at the awkward situation, i have a feeling its not.  
And i feel he's not telling me something, something important. . .


	7. ch. 7 countering fears

Michael's POV

i never really understood James, when he asked 'did something happen', i immediately assumed it was about Cecilia's case. and just said no in response to the outburst of questions.  
he looked at his lap, as his feet touched the floor.

"Damn it! what is this?!" he sweared aloud

"what? what happened?" i worriedly said, thinking it must be emotional trauma pouring in, so i went to his aid.

"what do you mean what, i should be asking you that! Damn my body hurts!" he said touching his back.  
unfortunately i know the reason for the pain in his body, it's because when he fainted from fatigue, he landed on another tombstone, giving a bruise in between his back and his hips.

but i couldn't really say that to him, not after what happened last night, i just don't want him to be as emotionally unstable as he was before.  
it wasn't befitting of his strong personality. now that i think about it, i never noticed last night that he was actually muscular and well built, but a little short in height .  
He touched his beard, and stared at space again, he then spoke in somewhat monotone voice.

"Do you have shaving cream and a blade, i really need a shave" he asked

"Yeah, sure, its on the top shelf of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom" i said a little bit surprised with the request.

He then stood up (or tried to), and successfully walked to the bathroom ( with a little of my help). He closed the door, and i heard a forced lock.  
I spend my time waiting out side, by dressing up, in my favorite black jeans, white shirt and leather jacket. Soon after, i heard rummaging and crashing of things from the bathroom.

"Are you ok in there" i asked after knocking, in loud patterns. It took a while before he answered me, and i just waited for a response, but no one answered.  
I knocked more fiercely, and i quote, nonstop this time, i just wanted to make sure he was alright. The door bursted open, and another image progressed to deliver in my mind.

"Can't you wait your turn, can't you see i was in the middle of the shower! Cant you hush down, your too noisy!" The man complained.  
But in my eyes, i've never seen this man in my life. His damp hair was slicked back by his left hand, gorgeous blue orbs looking at me so intently and yet have seemingly feminine like features. This would all be fine and dandy, if he wasn't wearing a towel, ONLY a towel.

"Who are you?" I unconsciously slipped, realizing my mistake.

"Look mate, that joke isn't funny anymore, not with that look in your face" he said smirking  
Then it hit me, wait, now that my common sense is back, we are the only people in this room, so of course it's JAMES. But, still what a change.

"Oy, why did you call me out anyway?" He asked

"Nothing i was just worried about you and Cec. . . I mean your body! Just thought you got hurt in there, having trouble and all" i said and just smiled it off

"Uhh, o-k?" He said before locking himself back in the bathroom.

Stupid. You almost slipped ! I thought, before burying my face in my palms.  
Before i knew it, James was out (without any clothes AGAIN, well except for a towel). He shoveled the items in his duffle bag, and found a long white long sleeve shirt, a pair of X-men boxers ( which i conditionally laughed at, he responded by throwing me a pillow to the face, and laughing at me instead) and skinny jeans.

"Wanna have lunch? I know a restaurant that has the best fish n' chips around" he said excitedly

"Sure" i simply said before following his lead.


	8. Ch. 8 is this a date?

James POV

 

We walked around town a little to tour Michael. I was able to do this because the pain in my back slowly went down from the cold shower, but a pinch of pain still resides.

I lead him to an english restaurant that i always go to while staying here. it has gotten rustic as the years go by, never the less the food is remarkable.

 

"Merovian" michael reads as we enter the establishment. The place was empty, compared to the flow of people when night comes. only a tall fat man stood by the counter, with an apron around his waist, he was the owner and cook. he looked at me and greeted us with a smile, he was a bearded fellow, that seemed to always scratch it.

 

"Hello, long time no see James" he said in a hardy way

 

"You too simon, you still have that bottle of wine, my friend" i said while smirking

 

"It's still waiting for you in the back as always" he said somehow sighing

 

"It's too early to be drinking, you just straightened up from you hangover" Michael protested, what is he my mother?

 

" Oh come on just a little wont bite, besides i can hold my liquor ten times the normal man!" I said proudly

 

"Then why were you so drunk that you can't even walk last night" michael muttered under his breath, but was audible to my ear.

 

" Just one glass won't hurt" i said brushing him off

Simon came bring us what we ordered. Which was two fish and chips, Caesar salad (for Michael) and two glasses of wine.

 

"Drink" i said handing the wine, while michael chowed on the salad.

 

"This is an ungodly hour for drinking you know" he said almost sounding like Cecilia, she would always say that to me.

 

"Come on, drink up! This does not come cheap you know, don't let it go to waste now and its good for the heart!" i persuaded, as his hand finally slowly reached out.

He took a sip, and his eyes went wide, and looked at me blankly before speaking

 

"Its good, it bitter-sweet and has a smooth flow to the throat" he said giving me a look

 

"Merovian 1789, one of our best" Simon says smiling joyously, for the compliment

 

"May grandfather's great grandfather made that" simon added as he said it proudly.

At the time when, Michael was going on his second course ( the fish and chips) his phone vibrated and rang, he looked at the phone and almost ran out

 

"I have to get this its an emergency" he said hurriedly

 

"Yeah, sure knock your self out" i said but he was already gone.

I just sat there waiting, while slicing a bit of the crisp fish.

 

" What exactly is your relationship with him?" Simon said, breaking the silence as he pointed to the door.

 

"What do you mean, what?" I asked raising a brow.

 

"Well, you wouldn't bring him here if he wasn't special" simon said, pointing it out

 

"Can't i just bring people here on a whim?" I said half joking

 

"Well no, its just . . . I feel as though he is like Cecilia" simon states

 

"How could that be? He's male" i said looking away

 

"I didn't mean that, what i mean is his mannerisms and the feeling around him is so similar, its scary" he said actioning shivers

 

" That cant be, after all they are so different in every way" i said in detest

 

" i dont know about you, but look a little closer and observe him" simon said winking

 

"As if i would waste my tim. . ." i stopped seeing as an image of Michael coming closer to the table.

 

" Sorry about that, i had to talk to management" Michael said smiling

 

"Management?" Simon and i, almost synced in sequence

 

"Its about my job, no matter, what were you guys talking about, i could hear your rumbling from out side." He stated with a sweet smile

 

" Ooh nothing its just about the bet" simon said, making a quick wink at me.

I somehow followed simon's orders and observe the third presence. as i watch him sit and cross his legs, the right over his left, his hands gracefully touch the utensils, as he continued to eat.

 

"Is there something on my face?" He asked, looking at me

 

"You've been staring for a while" he explained

 

"Its nothing i was just thinking" i said simply, to the amusement of the eavesdropping Simon.

Simon mouthed out from the counter _"i told you he was special"_ then smiling as i mouthed him an answer " like hell he is", before proceeding face forward, to the confused looking Michael.

 

"Is something wrong?" Michael asked sounding a little left out

 

"Its something of an inside joke" i made an alibi, to stop the questions from pouring in.

After a while every thing went back to normal, as i pretended not to affected by Simon's words.


	9. ch.9 careless claims

Michael 's POV

My thoughts right now are a little shambled, feeling transparent to James blue orbs, i felt too vulnerable. Simon was looking at me with such intent as well, what is it?

" Is there a problem?" i asked not removing eye contact.

" Nothing mate, nothing at all" he said oddly plastered.  
I consumed the last bite of the chips, and stood up. 

"Shall we go?" I offered, reaching a hand out 

"Im not a woman you know, i can stand by myself" James said before smirking, then i remembered it was actually a reflexive move. It was polite to lead the lady, was what i always thought. I never really assumed that my body would suddenly move on its own.  
But James still accepted and stood up, James went to the counter to pay our meals. I noticed simon whisper something to James . . .

" Like hell he is!" James said before looking at me.  
James just walked away not looking back, he went out first as i slowly followed. Simon stopped me in my tracks, as he tapped my shoulder.

" Don't be too attached to him, hear me mate?" He said calmly

"why, is there a problem?" I said a little bit concerned

"Nothing. . . Take it as a friendly advice" Simon said, with a little sadness in his eyes

"Michael!" James called, peeking out of the the door frame.  
I said my goodbye, but still a little sadness was marked on Simon's face.

As we walked going back to the hotel, we had little chats, but almost all of them were personal questions, like how i lived, what i liked and more. As i answered the questions, the more James grumbled and messed up his own hair.  
He then would sometimes peek at me or even stare. I think, he thought i never noticed. 

"are you doing something tonight?" looking at me with such bitter-sweetness

"not really" i answered as we stop at the middle of the stone pavements of the side walk

"good, im taking you somewhere tonight" he said smiling before we continued to our destination


	10. ch. 10 under the moon light

James POV

i walked Michael back to the hotel, before leaving immediately to get somethings for tonight. But why did i have to even offer up? i lamented and looked for closure. so i went back to Merovian, only to be greeted by a smirking Simon.

"you finally accepted it, didn't you" he said knowingly

i sat at one of the tables and fell in a slump of anxiety, Simon accompanied me and pat my back . i drowned in my own thoughts, Michael was the spitting image of Cecilia . . . from mannerism to the way he speaks and even his looks. i never even took a second look at Michael, but they have similar creamy skin, ginger hair and light blue orbs.

" I'm bringing him there tonight" i said falling into deeper anxiety

"it's fine, you know . . . but remember that no matter how much the same they are, Cecilia won't come back. don't push your one sided longing, to the poor chap" Simon said, giving the strength of elderly wisdom. 

"i know, but what if i just- forget " i said feeling my hands shake

"but, even if he's not Cecilia, i feel as though i can't afford to lose him" i added in assessment

" i understand, but it's best to let him go . . . if not him, are you willing to let go of Cecilia's memory?" Simon said, with a little sorrow present in his voice.

"i-i don't know" i said, before leaving after hour of thought.

i left and picked up the things for tonight, your just going to do this because you promised, i repeated to my self again and again.   
i borrowed Simon's car and picked up Michael, he buckled up the seat-belt as we went on.

"where are we going?" Michael asked a little excitement present in his eyes

"just sit back and relax, when we get there you'll know" i said smiling 

we didn't speak, Michael seems to sense the mood and didn't even utter a word. It was already more than half an hour, Michael fell asleep. i stopped the car for a moment and got out of the car, i went to the trunk and pulled out a blanket. i went back in, and covered Michael in the wool. the feeling of nostalgia came over me, it felt the same with Cecilia. my hand unconsciously caressed Michael's hair, when i noticed i pulled back and sighed.

"what are you doing" i said to myself  
before once again driving on the dark road, after an hour, we were at our destination. i shook the sleeping Michael.

"were here" i said simply as his eyes slowly opened

we stepped out to see, the flat land end, to a steep Cliff and the edge of the sea below. i laid a picnic cloth on top of the green grass, and sat on it. Michael just stood there watching me, as i waved my hand to come.

"come on" i said then repeated  
he followed the order and sat on the cloth as well, as we stared on the sunset.

"is this your surprise? the sunsets in London too, you know " he said smugly before laughing

"not exactly, just wait" i said as i stood and got a basket from the car.

"let's eat while we wait" i added as i put the basket down

we chatted and ate some grapes and sandwiches, i brought as well as drinking another bottle of Merovian 1789. we had our fun and spoke of memories. i looked at my watch and saw the time, it was already 7:23 pm. the landscape was completely dark, except for the moon light reflected on the waves of the sea below.

"the time is about right" i said signaling Michael  
after just a few minutes, orb like lights flew around, the delicate scenery was wonderful.

"wow, so this is your surprise" Michael said, looking at the brightest one

"what are they, it's my first time to see them" he added, being obviously a city boy all his life.

"fireflies, beautiful aren't they?" i said, but only Michael was getting my attention.

"extremely" he said while smiling happily

i couldn't take my eyes off of him, the lights of the fireflies were reflecting on his light blue orbs. i felt the adrenaline, coursing through my body. i moved closer to him, as Michael was too preoccupied with the lights, i put my right hand on his cheek, catching his attention.   
i pressed my lips on his, his body completely froze, before responding to the kiss. warmth filled my body. as we slowly parted.


	11. Ch.11 lips apart

Michael POV

I rethought my actions, and slowly moved apart from James the sensation of his lips lingered on mine. 'why did i even reacted?' I pondered as i touch my lips.  
My eyes ran around to James presence, he blankly stared at me, before tucking his face on his legs.

"I think that I'm . . . I-I'm falling for you" James stuttered to say, with somewhat of a visible blush, seeping through his pale skin.

"You could laugh at me, you know. But either way, i just wanted to say what i whats on my mind" he said not moving an inch, he seemed fragile in his state.  
I gathered all my thoughts, but i can't think straight anymore. 

"If this is a joke, this isn't funny" my heart beat fast in anticipation, to see the honesty if his intentions.  
He peeked one of his eyes in my direction, a muffled but understandable words, made my heartbeat ran even faster.

"Im dead serious" he said, like a child trying to prove his innocence.

" I guess lets try, for the moment?" I said, feeling even more light headed, with my own bitter-sweet words.

He swiftly stared at me, with a such a happy smile, i could never refuse such an honest expression.  
I couldn't resist, i cupped his left cheek, and pressed my lips once again on his. James astonished expression intrigued me, his eyes widened, and i could feel his hand shake.

"Are you scared?" I said after releasing his lips once more.

"What do you think!" He said with a little pout, and an ever reddening blush on his cheeks.

Soon after we rode off, to a path leading the way back to hexham's village.  
We never said a word to each other, we just shared the peace of the utter silence.


	12. Ch.12 brother's advice

James POV

Its been a long time since i was this light headed, i felt what i confessed was both right and wrong, but is there really limitations?  
We went back to hexham village, i dropped Michael on the hotel court yard. Driving off, i saw him wave from the side mirror, then put his hands in his jackets pockets and marched back to his room.

I drove back to Merovian, to return the borrowed car, it was late about 1 in the morning. The restaurant was already closed, but a flicker of light reflected on the glass door.

I knocked on the door, making sure to be careful with every force from my hand.  
A figure stood in the shadows before, opening the door. Simon let me in and offered me a drink, and i obliged. I handed him the key to the vehicle.

"So how was it?" Simon asked in anticipation.  
I felt an urge of guilt, i felt limp and just answered the best i can.

" Im so sorry, i didn't mean to, but i got carried away and . . ."  
I said trying to put the events in place.

"And?" He said queuing the extension of the explanation.

"I kissed him, and said i loved him. . . " I said feeling fear

" I guess its fine" he said to my surprise

" What do you mean fine ?! You are Cecilia's older brother, you should loath me, hate me!" I said saying my side of a better judgment.

"if Cecilia was alive right now, she would want you to be happy. What else could i do, that's your heart, i can't hate you for choosing your own happiness" Simon said, expressing his opinion

"but it isn't right!" i exclaimed 

"if you thought of it that way, why did you do it? " Simon said, gesturing his hand

"if Cecilia could speak right now, she would say 'James follow what your heart says'. you of all people should know, how much of a saint, Cecilia was . . . she'd let you choose" he added, as i felt more remorse as i remembered the kindness and sincerity of my wife.

"you don't get it! I made a commitment to love her and only her, for the rest of my life! but when i see Michael . . . all i see a shadow of Cecilia, smiling at me, trying to say 'i'm always here' . . . im really falling for him because of Cecilia, and it's unfair to her and Michael" i said pulling the fringe of my hair

"i don't know what to do, he accepted my feelings . . . i-i can't hurt him, i don't have the strength to hurt him, i feel so obligated to love him" i added 

"obligated? you were never obligated to confess neither were you obligated to love him . . . don't use such a forced tone to it " Simon said with a heightening voice

"Cecilia and Michael are not the same person! your not committed to love Michael, like you have loved Cecilia, because no matter what you do she will never be Michael and he will never be Cecilia! you have to get your thoughts together . . . you even picked that spot to bring Michael, and you said the same thing to her more then five years ago" he shouted, making me shiver  
silence took over and swept the room of any sound or motion, Simon showed his back and walk back to the kitchen, not even glancing.

"lock the door when you leave" his voice echoed through the corridor, signaling that i have over stayed my welcome.

i locked the door and left, but glancing at the dim lighted structure before departing. i dwell upon Simons words, as shaky hands pursed in my jacket.


	13. Ch. 13 understanding you again

Michael's POV

One again I'm alone in the hotel room. I changed the channel on the telly once in a while, and just lay around. i couldn't sleep, more like this experience is too unreal to be comfortable with

I have only been staying here for a few days, and yet like a whirlwind i got too deep in to the situations. But i haven't cleared to myself if im even attracted to him, all i know is when he smiles the world seem brighter to me.

My phone suddenly rang, i looked at the name of the caller and pressed decline. It kept on ringing and ringing until, i gave in and answered the call.

"Hello" i said in a slightly stern voice 

"We need you back, now, pronto" the man said in grave urgency

"The press is looking for you, and they wont stop unless you come back" he added

" Then let them keep looking, I've only been gone for a few days after all" i said careless of the consequence

" You don't understand, its not that your gone that's the problem, its your reputation. people are making scandals of their own, people say you've been fired or even getting a girl pregnant, for Christ sake! Look Michael, your one of the highest paid British actors around, people tend to look into you more compared to others, what I'm saying here is come back now!" He lectured

Hearing a door knock i immediately said my goodbye.

"I'll think about it, just-just give me a few more days" i said before offing my phone and opening the door.   
But before that i put on a robe over my black pj's. the cold breeze went in the room, the presence rested his head on my shoulder, covering his face from my view. 

"Can i stay here tonight?" He said so sorrowfully.  
I couldn't bring myself to say no. I offered him a shower, giving him space to think. 

"Im thinking of going back to London the day after tomorrow" i said spontaneously, as the water from the shower stopped, patters of drops would be heard with the sudden silence. 

"Why the sudden decision?" he said from the inside of the bathroom walls, i couldn't hear any sound of movements, just the echoing of James sigh.

"Work needed me" i said simply but an ache of loneliness filled my heart.

"I see, its for the best" thats all what James said to me. Which puzzled me even more was that, just a few hour ago James confessed to me.  
James walked out of the bathroom, drenched in the cold water, yet tears were visibly dripping from his eyes.

"Don't leave me again" he said so sadly.

I couldn't do anything but froze on the spot, but soon after collected my thoughts and wrapped my arms around him.   
Feeling his body heat comforted me, from the loneliness i felt. As i looked down, i saw him look so small in my arms.  
That is when i understood that he wanted to be strong, either for me or for him.   
But i reflected on the last word he said to me, the word again.

"Not again Cecilia" he mutter barely audible 

There I slowly see, that it was never me that he loved. It was always Cecilia, and it will always be Cecilia even the first time we met, it was only her.   
I felt a striking pain in my chest, what is this i feel? I slowly shattered as i accepted that is was jealousy, as well as fact that i am understanding my one sided affair.


	14. Ch. 14 cold changes

James's POV

"Take the bed" Michael said with such a cold expression. He removed me from his arms, and walked passed me to the sofa.

He opened his book, a road to no tomorrow, and ignored me.   
The next morning, i woke up to a presence less room. No sign of Michael around, just a letter on the coffee table.

"Im going out first, lock the door -Michael"

That's all he said nothing more, i took a shower, locked the door and left. 'where the heck is Michael?' I thought to myself, before roaming around town.   
I saw a silhouette of a man with the same built as Michael, i came up to him, grabbed his arm, as he looked at me.

" I knew it was you" i said smiling  
He never spoke a word, he just stood there looking at me so stoically. 

"Did we visit every part of Hexham?" He asked, but no emotion was ever present.

"Well if you think about it now, we've pretty much went every where" i said as i rejoiced with finally hearing Michael's voice.

"Is that so" that's all he answered, before walking away. 

Michael's actions somehow annoyed me, not to mention he didn't smile at me . we spent the day, so distantly apart.  
it was already night, again, the scenario from yesterday happened. I just did what i was told, i felt our non-speaking terms from the ambiance of the room. I just tucked myself and fell a sleep.

A warm caress, woke me up, as i saw Michael's back, walking further away from me, holding luggage on both hands.   
My body reacted suddenly, grabbing his arm, stopping him in his track.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he slowly turned.

"Back to London, i said i'd be leaving the day after tomorrow" he said so coldly, like leaving had no feelings attached to it.

"You said, your only thinking about it! Why have you been so cold lately?" I said somehow feeling infuriated   
Michael clenched his hands on the luggage handle, before answering me such sadness audible in his

"Because this way its easier to protect myself, This way nothing would hurt, there would be no memories, no smiles, what happened in this place, stays here" he said somehow shaky, i never understood what he said, it felt as though my mind just didn't want to hear it.

"Protect yourself from what?" I said, but inside i knew the answer.

" The fact that i am just a substitute to you, look James, look at me!" Michael said dropping what he was holding 

"I am neither Cecilia or a woman. Cecilia is dead! You can't even differ reality from fantasy. . . Im not stupid not to notice." He added striking my heart. 

"Even that trip with the fireflies, i heard from Simon that is where you proposed to Cecilia. I am not a tool to reenact your past, i just want to leave without attachments and feelings for you" he said burying me even more.

"Good bye" was all that's left to be said, as he departed from the room. leaving me weak and feeling helpless as well.


	15. Ch. 15 a star again

Michael's POV

I have played many roles in my life. i was always willing to change and shift for it, to change who i was, but this is the only time that i couldn't accept it.   
My mind and body would reject it, in a form of Cecilia. i despise her undying existence. my mind played as a cold breeze, swept the leaves on the ground. my footsteps cracked at my weight, as the orang-brown crisp leaves disperse in pieces, as i lifted my foot.

The rumble train made, was like a picture that reminded me of when we first met. there was a pressure in my chest, heavy and constricted.   
Time past slower then expected, my ears would hear every murmur and sound, from people to the items in the train.   
I was in fact alone, and was also emotionally empty. Finally, after almost a one day trip, the bells rang signaling London.   
I stepped off the train to the platform, my silence heightened my hearing, causing me to hear the whispers of people.

" Look its Michael Fassbender!" One shouted pointing at me, people started to swarm me autographs and photographs. I narrowly escaped the herd of fans, i swiftly called a cabbie and rode immediately as soon as it stops. 

i directed the cabbie to my flat, it seems that the cabbie, either didn't notice who i was or he knew but didn't care at all. all he did was drive silently and sometimes stare.

As i was dropped off a few blocks away from my flat (for privacy reasons). i noticed my clothes, it seems to be too flashy and easy for me to be detected. A maroon button up shirt, accompanied by a black blazer and black pants, with my favorite leather shoes. now this attire was not that absurd or different, its just obviously high end brands, that's why its eye catching.

I shifted through my stuff and pulled out, fake glasses and a hat, to cover my face, and even mess up my quiff. I took off my blazer and exchanged it for a hoodie. i walked around, looking down and slouching, to not catch any attention, because for sure by now, they know about the 'trip'.  
As i was going off to sleep, my phone rang, causing me to be wake up.

"Hello" i said rubbing my eyes

"They already know" the familiar voice said

"About what" i said curiously 

"Hexham" the voice answered 

"Who? " i asked confusedly 

"Paparazzi, you also have interview tomorrow evening at 9 pm, but come earlier. you better not be late, they know your here in London, no buts, just go. i'll be following you there after my meeting, good bye." Charles said before hanging up the phone. I just tried to regain my rest, and finally fell asleep.

Its already 8:19 pm. I went to the studio, early as promised. the host came up to me, he smiled and held his hand out. 

"Nice to finally meet you" he said as i shook his hand.

"As to you Graham" i said smiling 

"So basically, i want to ask you some pre-show questions to give you time to think, like where did you go? And why you were there?" He said getting on with business.  
Suddenly, the assistant director called for him, leaving me alone.

After a while, of fiddling with my phone the show finally started. the entrance went smoothly. Until finally it's my turn to be interviewed after, Graham talked to two other celebrities.

"So Michael i heard you had a trip and i heard it was a great place" he said in his funny accent, bluffing his information to sound as though he knew where I've been .

"Ahh yes, i went to a small village in Hexham, it was really amazingly relaxing" i said smiling in my business voice.

" Heard it was unforgettable and extended your stay" he said energetically 

"Well it was supposedly a one month vacation, but yes it was, especially since i unexpectedly fell in love with someone there, we did become somehow, sort of an 'item'   
but in the end, and it seems i was never really important to that person, as 'she' see me as 'her' ex, in the end it never worked out" 

" So how are you feeling now?" Graham asked some how looking a bit pitiful of me.

"How i feel, well for a fact i still love 'her' and it seems unrequited, i it really hurts me, and can't get it out of my system" i said, leaving the audience to awe, and a   
silence in stage. I couldn't believe that i opened my heart to all of Europe, none-the-less i still felt the pain.


	16. Ch. 16 media chaos

Michael's POV.

The silence on stage, rang through the studio. i feel as though, people never expected a cold looking man like me to even feel something like heart break.  
Graham seemed to feel my distress, i looked at him with pleading eyes to change the topic, for my mouth wouldn't move with the revelation.   
He then seemed to have gotten the telepathic message, and change the topic, into a completely far-fetched conversation, so unrelated that i thought, everyone has forgotten about me blurting out.

Soon after the incident, the show ended, i walked in to see a yet again distressed Charles.

"Did you know what you just did?" Charles said giving a level of extreme urgency.

"You just started a national hunt for that poor girl!" He said giving a cringe .

"What girl?" I asked forgetting the sequence.

"Who else! then your lovely mystery lady!" Charles said sarcastically, feeling the annoyance. 

"Oh right, 'her' " remembering the event.

I heard snickers from what seemed to be the female staffs of the show, disturbing our somewhat private conversation. suddenly a woman, tapped me at the back, turning she suddenly kissed my cheek. Charles couldn't speak, as the bold act shocked him.

She was a tall slender brunette, she had peachy cheeks with pale skin, rosy lips covered in gloss and wearing a ombre blue to yellow crop top above a black tank. her grey skinny jeans were tucked in her knee-high boots. 

"If that girl doesn't want to date you, do you mind dating me instead?" She said boldly, with an american accent.

" Quite bold of you, miss?" i said thinking what she said was quite entertaining in its own way.

"Cecilia, Cecilia Smith. Lia is fine though !" Her jolly attitude, seemingly lightened the mood.   
it reminded me of hi. . . No, i meant it reminded me of happy memories. 

"Your so young you could be my daughter, for christ sake. do you even know me" I played along with her tone, thinking it was a joke.  
Her face somehow stiffened.

"Im serious you know, we've met before don't you remember? " She said seriously

I dug through my memories, but not once have i remembered to have met her. surely i would have remembered such a woman.   
Seeming to have noticed my struggle, she walked paces to the door, before turning to look at me.

"Till next time, by the way I'm 28, if you haven't noticed" she said before walking out.

"So you've met miss Lia" a voice said from behind. it was Graham, smirking in a knowing way.

"Is she your mystery woman?" He said thinking he had cornered 'her' identity.

"Unfortunately not" i said sadly

Me and the staff had little chats, before its time for me to leave. but in only moments of me stepping out of the studio, flashing lights from every angle, temporarily blinded me.  
I was bombarded with questions, to get the gist of the so called rendezvous. They also asked for her identity with blunt guesses of my co-stars and asking what she looked like.  
I answered "no comment" for the fear if discovery. As i went in to a car, with Charles just behind, my phone rang, in the middle of the chaos, a text.

" Im going to London, where are you?  
\- James"

All i thought about is the heat of the media, in addition to 'her' coming here. The stress is killing me.


	17. Ch.17 silent meeting

James POV

The bustles at the London station platform caught my attention, people keep on pushing each other, shoulder to shoulder. it was rush hour at the time, so i understood. people just wanted to go on with their lives, work was a necessity in this world.

unfortunately I'm not one of them, i am unemployed, living off a fading inheritance from my deceased uncle. i walked off and called a cabbie, i went in to a quiet and foreign driver. he wore a brown bomber jacket that seems too big for his size, and a grey cap. i shoved my luggage inside, before sitting my body to a comfortable position.

"where to?" he asked with a Pakistani accent, while adjusting his cap.

"the cheapest hotel you know" i said as i leaned to the vehicel's side, viewing the passing buildings.

the shops we pass caught my attention, particularly boutiques. one of them was a fashion boutique that is promoting their suit clothing line. it reminded me of what a sleek dresser Micheal was, like he had to keep up an image that dosen't necessarily belong to him.  
one of the mannequins wore a red button up shirt, with a grey blazer. it also had black slacks and a white scarf. i felt that Micheal, would look good wearing something like that or anything for that matter.

i heard my phone rang, i pulled it out of my pocket to get a call from Micheal's number. i picked it up to hear his voice, i felt a certain longing.

"hello" i said trying to keep my cool

"hi, it's Micheal. where are you?" he said with visible anxiety 

"in a cab, but i should be asking you that, i'll be going to you, where are you?" i insisted 

"you can't come to me, you won't be able to reach me. . . it's better if i meet you" he said, as somehow i felt his worry.

" if your THAT busy, then don't meet me at all" i persisted to make him agree

" it's not that, it's just . . . it will be hard on both our terms if that happens" he said before he was silenced, his breath was still audible to my ear, this made sure that he was still on the other end.

"if your really in London, just look out of the window you'll understand" he added, with somehow a ridiculous request.

i just silently looked out and just followed, my eyes suddenly widened. the source of my shock was a large billboard, it bore the Michael's face, promoting an Giorgio Armani's winter fashion line. my mouth widened and my breath hitched at the revelation.

"hello? are you still there? James?" Micheal's voice frantically asked  
i assembled my thoughts, and gathered my realizations, that the one that I've been staying with i actually famous.

"your a model?!" i asked

"not exactly, but an actor. . . I'm avoiding the press from following you, they cant find out about you. . . not now" he said with visible distress.  
i fell silent, i suddenly felt our worlds being pulled apart from each other. i comprehended that i don't even know him, the real him, his identity. i just knew that small part of who he is, an i felt small compared to him.

"ok, i'll text you the hotel I'm staying in" i said before shutting my call, i didn't even wanted to hear his response.


	18. Ch. 18 third wheel's drive

Michael POV

James had just hung up, i kept on calling his number but he doesn't pick up. I can't leave the set to find him either. . . But the more i think about, why did he even follow me?

But i put aside my nonsense, and continued to worry about him. he wasn't accustomed to the noisy city life i live in.  
But then again, now that I've thought about it, the first time we met was here in a London train station. Why was he even here, when Cecilia's grave is in the country   
side?

My questions piled up over my head, making me lose sight of my present situation. I was having a photo shoot with Rolex, for a promotional update of there latest model of watches.

"Michael concentrate, your face looks too confused!!" An angry remark, from a tired Italian photographer.

"Im sorry" i said, as i pushed my undivided attention to controlling my facial muscles.   
I changed my pose and relaxed, putting my gaze to the camera lens.

"Good, but a look a little more stronger, yes, good that's it!" Marco Machiavelli, said finally showing approval.  
At break i only stared at the phone, hoping i'd get my reply. when a knock on my door startled my being. . .

"come in" i said as i fixed myself to be presentable.

"it's me! how are you?" Lia said as she went in closing the door behind her.

" im fine, what about you? by the way what are you doing here?" i said politely as possible

"ohh, i had a job, just on the other studio. so i thought i'd drop by to say hi! after all i miss you" she said, but i couldn't take in her affections.

"ohh really?" i said as i laughed taking it as a laid back joke

"no really i did miss you!" she said in a tone that was suspicious to me, in a way that i can't point out.  
she suddenly sat on my lap, and wrapped her arms around me, to be honest the i suddenly cringed at the sudden skin ship. 

"you better get off of me, before people get the wrong idea" i said calmly while pushing her off me

"i don't mind if its you" she said nuzzling my neck

"i don't exactly like it, after all your a lady" i said starting to give off a tone

"I'm sure a guy like already has a lot of experience with women, and i believe when you get to know me you'll like me as well" she said as she moved to my ear

"but for now, i have to trap you" she whispered and swiftly cupped my cheeks.  
she pulled out her phone and suddenly kissed me on the lips. she got off of me, i swiftly took the phone, only to see the picture has been sent to an unknown number. Lia immediately took her phone, and walked to the door.

" why did you do that?! what if 'she' sees that?!" i said hiding the other males identity

" that's the point i want 'her' to know! i want the whole world to know!" she said showing her manipulative colors.

"know what? that picture is fake!! there is nothing between us!! and there never will" i said angrily feeling my hands, squeeze my thumb to a fist.

"that's the point, didn't i tell you i'll trap you" she said smirking

"even if there is nothing between us, with this picture i'll make it happen! i would make the world think that your mine" she added, i underestimated her intelligence, that i knew now. 

"what is this your way of a publicity stunt? where did you send that picture?" i said grabbing her shoulders.

" i'm only going to tell you, if you do as i say" she said widening her smirk

"what? what could you possibly want from me? you have everything that i have, what else is there?" i said making my tone higher, to establish my own form of dominance.

"you, i need you" she said as she snuggled at my torso, i detested the feeling

" your psychotic" i said as i wondered the effect of this photo to my popularity or if James would be hurt at all. 

" only for you" she said and she let go and walked off to the door

"meet me tomorrow night, at that fancy french restaurant near here, 'de l'or' something, we'll talk about it through dinner, your treat see ya! " she said as she left.

i know that restaurant, it's called 'château de l'or ' it's a five star restaurant, popular to politicians, heirs and heiresses practically, its only for wealthy people. i've been there a few times, but why there? and what does she really need?


	19. ch. 19 the real element of spice

Michael's POV

i am still stunned by the events, but still i manage to collect myself and went on, with work. when i went back to the dressing room, the atmosphere around it, chilled me, Lia's usual light blue eyes, darkened with a form of obsession.

Finally, i got James' message. 

"Honey hotel, he's staying THERE!!" I said almost screaming.

"What's wrong, mate? What's with the honey hotel thing?" Asked Stephanie Kyle, my co-star and a close friend.

"It's nothing, its just that a FRIEND, from Hexham is here in London . . . He, right now is staying at honey hotel. . ." i said as my brain scattered 

"you know what happens in that place, RIGHT?" she said exagerrating 

"well . . . yeah" i said, slightly embarrassed talking about it to the opposite gender

"then go and get the dimwitted bloke, if the chap's really important to you, then why is he bothering to stay at that misshap of a hotel? get the bloke, before something even happens" said the thick accented aussie-brit. 

The honey hotel, is quite notorious among Londoners. It is as suggestive as the name indicates, sex and drugs are the trade. rumor has it gets it's supplies, from one of the bosses of the London-underground.   
it's a place that people want to avoid, and being affiliated with the place is going to destroy your reputation. 

"alright, cover for me! I owe you one" i said, as we were only in the middle of the shoot.

"What the! No way lik-" she uttered, but i never stayed enough to understand the rest of her words.  
i went off and hailed a cab. i noticed the cabbie staring at my face for a while, then i finally noticed that i didn't even bother to put on a disguise. 

"have i seen you before?" an irish accent, captured my attention.

"a lot of people have been saying that to me lately . . . they say i looked like Michael Fassbender" i said, claiming to be a pretender.

"that's exactly what i was about to say!" the old man's jolly tune made me snicker a little.

"but unfortunately, that guy won't ride a cab just like that" i said stereotyping my own profession 

"your right, celebrities right now are pretty snobby these day, e?" He said, making me twitch a little bit.

Seeing i was extremely noticeable, i directed the cabbie to my flat instead of that infamous hotel.  
Giving the pay, i ran off to my flat, and swiftly changed, to something a little more inconspicuous. a red hoodie, grey jogging pants and white rubber shoes, i put on a face mask, and just stared at myself through the mirror. i looked like a druggy, the bags under my eyes helped the look. i was in fact under pressure, from Lia, the media and the schedule of my work.

Since no one would be willing to take me to that hotel, i had two choices, drive my car, which the media knows it's plate number or walk.   
I sighed, and just went with walking. only to notice it was already late, the sun has already set. I looked at the time on my phone to see it was, five-to-nine. not to mention it takes a while to travel to that hotel, which is in lower east London, the opposite direction to my flat. 

It took me about an hour's walk, but i made it. since it was night, people from that district came out and went on with their underground trades.   
It disturbed me, but thanks to my acting skills, i played the role as if I'm one of them, just for them to not to discover my identity.   
I entered the hotel, and went to the front desk, to see a woman, the clerk chewing bubble gum while reading a magazine. . . a playboy magazine.  
She had good, even outstanding looks, and a nice figure. she noticed my presence and didn't take a second look, as if a masked man was one of the most normal things is the world. 

"Just get in, find your way around" she said as if cold air just passed by.

I just nodded and walked in an old rusting elevator, beside the said desk.  
While in i checked my phone, and read James' full text again.

'Honey hotel, 169-A, third floor-James'  
Since, most of the information needed was stated, it didn't take long to find the room. i knocked on the door a few times, no answer.

" James, it's Michael open up!" I said over and over while shouting, feeling a little distressed. 

The door opened and the thick smell of booze seeped through, a drunk James came out and pulled me in, and pressed his lips on mine, and going on to trail on my neck, nipping a little, while still in the door way.


	20. Ch. 20 chemistry catastrophy

James' POV

as i entered room, i noticed the mediocre style of plain it was. white sheets, pillows and even the walls were white, brown carpet and a minimal amount of wooden furniture were the only ones that added colour to the bland room. . . well except for some stains, on the sheets, that seemed to be dried blood. . . it really isn't the best.

even with this, i didn't plan to go out, after all i already know London's tourist spots. it was quite boring, but time seemed to move extremely slow, like it was waiting for me to die in boredom.

as always, booze were my way to forget everything on my mind, because i don't only feel boredom, i felt scared, anxiety and betrayed as well. for one, he was the one who got away, he left me, like when Cecilia suddenly left the earth without me.

when i stayed at Langley with Michael for a while, i thought we got closer. i thought that maybe, i'll forget about Cecilia, it was too much of my wishful thinking, and for all i know, the reason why he left was not because of work, but because of me. . .  
it was my selfishness that pushed me to come here, i feel too unwanted in his life. maybe that's why he didn't want me to find him, i don't even know if he's coming to see me.

after that event on day he left, i realized i was only latching on Cecilia's memory to cover my losses. All i really wanted was to stay with him, maybe now I'm latching on to him for comfort, but it felt so different that my heart ached.

i pulled out a bottle of Irish whiskey, and chugged it from the brim, finishing after a few pauses. at this moment , time passed like a swift flash, my mind was fuzzy, from what my sanity still knew, i already downed about two and a half bottles of whiskey, which for a fact was strong even to the most experienced drinker.  
after a while of spacing out, i vaguely heard the knocking of the door, which i ignored. but after a moment of silence, a stern voice of worry was brought forth, i recognized it, but in my mind it can't be him.

as i opened the door, an image of Michael was standing in front of me, but this time i wont let him go. i pulled him, closing the door, i pulled off his mask, even with it, i would always know it was him. i pressed my lips against his. he muttered something, but i didn't mind it and continued to make a trail of kisses to his neck, which i nipped at the side. he held me by my shoulders, as my head leaned to the side.

"stop this! your drunk! get yourself together!" he said, but i could careless for this type of chivalry, i acted on my own accord and is conscious of it as well.

"you don't know what your starting! Don't make this mistake!" he continued, as i attacked his open mouth. i intertwined our tongues, it was rough, but sensual in its own way. I pressed my hand to his chest and felt his heart, speeding to a new pace. I pulled back, for us to breath. A gasp slipped from my lips, as my heart couldn't ease.

"i know what this is!" As my head fell and leaned on his chest, i clenched on his shirt, like a child holding his favorite stuff toy.

"This isn't a mistake! If this were a mistake, why did you accept me, accept that i, a man am in fact in love with you!" I said shaking and at the brink of tears.

"That-that's enough . . . " He said as he slowly pushed me away.

"I went here to London just to follow you, i even tried to forget Cecilia! Im blaming myself for everything that went wrong! How much more? How much more do i need to give you, to finally understand, that i love you?!" I said tears stream down my face, my heart dropped at every word i said.  
Michael's hand suddenly moved, he lifted my face and gave me a soft kiss.

"There is no backing out of this. . . Once it starts, it never ends" Michael said, as he slides his hand under my shirt.

My lips slipped a moan, which made me blush. 'was that my voice?' I wandered as Michael snickered.  
he didn't say anything anymore, he lead me and pushed me down on the bed. one by one, he unbuttoned my shirt, i felt tense. he gently caressed my face, his hand trailed my body gently, i flinched at every movement.

i felt my blush creep up my cheeks, i couldn't handle his piercing stare, i covered my face with my hands, which made me feel more of Michael's sensation. he removed my hands, placing one at his cheek.

"look at me" he said, as his voice became lower making my ears and body shiver.

i did as i was told, without taking off eye contact, his lips pressed the edge of my skin going from my neck to my chest. he made his way to my nipple, he gently sucked and licked it, making me moan louder, i bit my lips trying to keep it, to no avail.

his left leg pressed me in between my legs, causing my bulge to get harder. he unshackled the belt in my pants, sliding them off. to reveal the vulnerable me. i looked at Micheal's face, as he analyzed every inch of me.

he touched my throbbing member, as he teased the tip. With every move, my body twitched and shudder, his foreign warmth, drove me to a blur. his movements suddenly changed speed, thrusting his hand on it, i gasped for air, my hands gripped on the white sheets, my sight dimed, as my fluids shot on to my bare skin.  
i was in the verge of fainting, but an invading finger pressed against my opening. slowly pressing it to loosen, it made me gasp. i stuttered to say what was on my mind.

"it hurts! . . . let . . . it out!" i said forcing my voice out.

"trust me, it wont hurt after" he said grinning, as he saw me whimper.

"n-no . . . ahhmm" i said as he thrusted, and started to slowly add more fingers.

as my body got used to it, i didn't notice that the invading fingers were already four. heat boiled at the pit of my being, i wanted more. but instead he moved his fingers out, leaving me to miss the newly found comfort.

Michael proped my legs up as he unbuckled his belt. he lifted my waist, as his member pressed my entrance, gently putting it in, in a slow but steady movement. once his whole member entered, i felt my whole body to lose strength, and all i could do was grip on the sheets tighter, as moans and gasps, passed from both our lips, when he started to move.

his movements slowly sped up, leaving me to gasp for more air. the last i could remember, is a slippery sensation inside of me. . .


	21. Ch. 21 ticking after math

Michael's POV

i woke up with a heavy weight on top of my chest, and hair brushing against my skin. i looked down to see a sleeping James, cuddling my torso. seeing him so defenceless, i couldn't help but caress his face.

His eyes slowly fluttered, as he woke up. He sat up, still on top of me, and blankly stared at me. As he realized our daring situation, a pinkish blush crept on his pale skin. 

"Uhh-aumm, good morning" he said, as our awkward new disposition was realized.

"I somehow feel the same, its a new thing for me" i said, making sure to emphasize that he isn't the only one in the awkward boat.

It was still early, about eight in the morning. i insisted he sleep a little more, but my phone rang uncontrollably, annoying the wits out of me, it continued to ring and ring causing James to groan and cover his head with a pillow.   
I looked at the contacts it was an unlisted number, i picked up the strangers call, only to be bombarded by an irritable voice, after spending the night.

"Where are you?! Your not in your house!" The voice said demanding an immediate answer. 

" how could you possibly even know that!?" Feeling a chill up my spine

"Where are you! Im worried you know~" the voice said in a sickeningly sweet tone. . . I hated it.

"Just leave me alone! You are nothing to me! What could you possibly want from me!?" My voice raised, startling James, as it is the first time I've raised it this high.

" Didnt i tell you, all i want is YOU!" The voice insisted

"But either way sooner or later i will find you, just wait. . . " the voice added then hung up.  
Cold sweat showered my bare body, we have to leave.now. that girl is becoming a feared stalker. I don't believe she wants me, or better yet i dont want to believe. 

"James we have go. now." i said as i shook his body

"Im taking you out of here, we have to leave!" I hurriedly said as i picked up and stuffed some of his things.  
James didn't move or say a word, he just looked at me with a creeping shade of red.

" I . . . I cant move from the waist down . . . " He said with verbal embarrassment.

I couldn't help but look at him, i wanted this moment to last, but we don't gave time. The sun has already risen, it wont take long before people would recognize me, in this daylight.

I called up stephanie, as i dressed myself up, as well as help James with his.

" It me, could you hitch me a ride, i can't exactly use public transportation right now" i said reasoning with steph

"No way, in hell. I don't want to be sticking my nose in that place" she said with a pacing voice.

" Please" i repeated again and again.

"Alright-alright, i' ll just use Timothy's red Volvo. i'll be there in 30 minutes" she said ending our conversation.


	22. Ch. 22 first time with the stars

Michael 's POV

Stephanie didn't disappoint, she came to pick us up in a red Volvo with tinted windows. if i didn't know stephanie's silhouette, i wouldn't even know it was her.  
As for us, we dressed inconspicuously, well. . . hopefully. We looked like a wreck, matching the place.  
I wore the same clothes i had yesterday and as for James, i had him wear a coat and a hoodie.

"You owe me two now" stephanie stated, as we entered the car, with James' luggage.

"I know, but you owe me one before, remember?" I said smirking.

"Fine - fine, you win. just treat me to some drinks next time, chardonnay, Colette Blanco 1864, sounds good!" She said cheerily.

"So specific, it looks like you been planning this all along" i said in a joking manner

"How about i give you my last bottle of Merlot, casa vermillion 1998? I think that's more than enough" i added

" No way, that's too light, not to mention it hasn't aged too much yet" she said grumbling on and on.

As most may notice, Stephanie is a wine enthusiast. no wonder though, growing up in France, since her parents separation. She lived there with her mother and her French step-father, although still keeping her biological father's Aussie accent.  
I looked to my left to see, a mesmerized look on the chap's face.

" your Kyle. . . Stephanie Kyle, right?" His voice chapping a bit.

"great, you know who she is and yet, your still grasping, that im a celebrity" i said, playing it on, but truth between the lines, with a pinch of real jealousy.  
on the other hand, she winked through the mirror, heading James way. i was a tad bit irritated. . . As James blushed in a frenzy.

"Cute" stephanie uttered, this time looking at me.

"I didn't know you were part of the club" she stated, with a tainting smirk on her face.

"I don't know what your talking about" i said in a fake mask of a dilemma.

"There's a visible hickey on his neck" she said pointing to her left collar bone, while her right hand on the steering wheel.  
I was out of reasons by now.

"well you could at least admit it!" she said in a highty voice.

"no! of course not!" i said in absolute denial

"infact i have a date tonight, i believe you know Lia Smith" i blurted out

quickly silence dominated the vehicle. i looked straight at the mirror, and saw Steph looking so intensely at James.  
i looked to my side to see an unexpected reaction from James, his face dropped and stayed stiff.  
In this silence Stephanie dropped us off at my place. James walked out of the car as soon as we stopped, bringing his luggage with him.

He walked at such speed, it accelerated to running. he ran across the street, not looking side to side, a speeding black van almost trampled him, my hands shook, feeling sweat. i ran up to him at my top speed, he laid there, luckily still conscious. His own swift reaction saved him.  
As i got him to sit, i swiped the back of my hand across his face.

" Are you mad?! Running like that! Are you a child?! My heart stopped, you could have died!" I said in anger, he just sat there quietly.

Red liquid seem to stain his clothes, i immediately inspected him, fearing the worst. . . him getting hurt.  
I then found the source of the bleeding. it seems that his right hand was grazed in the fall. i took his left hand tightly, as he groaned in pain.  
I went pass stephanie's car, she was peering at the slid-down window waiting for us.  
Stephanie seemed to get the message, as she drove off after seeing my expression.

We entered my flat. i put down his luggage and threw him to my couch .

"Don't move!" I said with as much diction as needed.

I ran to my room, rummaging through my cabinets . in hopes to fond a first aid kit, of some sort. i finally found one at the far back of my forth rummaged closet. The kit was old and worn out, but still usable.  
I went back to James, only to find his sleeping face.  
I couldn't have the heart to wake him up, i took his right hand and cleaned the wound. i put some medicine on a cotton, and lightly wiped it on the wound, and finally bandaged it up.

I carried him on my back, good thing for his small stature, it helped me maneuver correctly. i laid him in one of my guest rooms.  
I took off his coat and tucked him in. i stood up and walked near the door, when my body just stopped. i walked back to the side of the bed, leaned near his ear.

"Good night" i whispered before kissing his forehead. I silently closed the door behind me. I slid to the floor as my back leaned on the door. my knees touched my chest, as i sighed in relief.

"Im glad your safe, i don't know what to do without you" i said to myself, thinking of James' image in my mind.  
A ring on my phone disturbed my lamentation.

" Pick me up at Marco's studio at 9, wear something nice. - Lia"  
I looked at the clock it was about 2: 58 pm.


	23. Ch. 23 helplessly in love with you

Michael's POV

"Why is Stephanie Kyle with you just now? - Lia Smith"

"Dont tell me you're cheating! - Lia Smith"

" Who is that guy you just went in with? - Lia Smith"

"WHY DONT YOU TELL ME ANYTHING!!??? - Lia Smith"

These are just some of Lia's constant texting with in the hours of waiting for nine o'clock. i felt scared 'this woman knows' i thought, as she texted me in my constant movements.

But I've noticed it was always from the outside view. The ground breaking conclusion of the situation, is that she is in fact a stalker.  
I realized i wasn't scared for me, but for James. I dont know any of her intentions, and the mere fact that she could hurt him, no matter how much of a man he is, is terrifying for me. 

I couldn't handle the stress, i cant let him get hurt more than he is already.  
Somehow Im always useless with these things, I never seemed to be of use to anyone around me. I was the constant baggage of my siblings and even now, I feel the same.

I walked through the living room and sat on my favorite brown leather couch. At its side was a carved wooden table, on it was my favorite book, " a road to no tomorrow. I would be in a constant trance while reading it. It as also my mothers favorite.  
The crisp pages would tell a story of a poor gentle gardener, named christopher mcduffe. Who grew up at a local orphanage near the winchester castle. As a boy he would wander around and hide from the orphanage's strict nun, sister martha, and hide in the forrest. 

One day in one of his trips to the forrest, he met a young child, the child was almost of the same age as he was. The child could not speak, but could read and write. The deaf child slowly taught him how to read and write. Which he grew fond of. After years of playing together, the deaf child that christopher endearingly called ''abel'', disappeared to the dismay of christopher, but still the persistent christopher would wait and wait, on the same spot, they last met. It was a rocky dirt path going into he forrest, called '' tomorrow''. He never noticed until then that he had fell in love with abel.  
Years past, christopher now an adult, was employed at winchester castle. One day while tending to the roses, he locked eyes with a child, who had the same blue eyes as abel, had the same cherry tinted lips as abel, as well. 

Christopher entertained the child, by picking a rose and giving it to the child. ''Catherine!'' A deep voice called the child, it was the child's father, who introduce himself as ''cain'' the master of the house. While persuading the child to go back inside, she hid behind christopher, and clenched on his clothes.   
With this cain invited christopher to dinner, to persuade his daughter to go in side the castle. At dinner christopher finally found what he was looking for, but the abel now had a happy sweet family. To his greif chrstopher took his life, uttering his last words '' I waited for you at a road to no tomorrow'' before leaving this earth.  
But Christopher was wrong, Abel was abused and was forced to marriage, to her dismay. she was imprisoned in the castle, and forced to put a happy front amongst the people. She waited and hoped someone would notice, someone would save her. She also loved christopher dearly, but it could never be, for christopher was free while like a song bird, she wss trapped in a metal cage. She was deaf and couldn't scream, as she took her own life, in a madness that endowed her in a pitch black space. 

My mother would always said there was always a sense of romance in this tragedy. But none the less a persistent tragedy it is.  
I found Christopher to be stupid when i was young, ranting about, a person waiting for years, for a woman that forgot his existence. I found it as a good read nothing more, but now i find an enduring connection to this specific character, but in a different situation. I was very naive, not to notice Abel's situation.  
I find that the situation is that i am christopher, and James is in the position of Abel being held down by my version of cain (Lia). Our love can never be known, nor can it be shown. the fear that Lia can drive James to be caged in a manner like that scares me, but most of all to be separated from James scares me too.  
Im not dumb to not notice, that the reason for James' escape was of what he heard about, me and Lia. I reflected on my own stubbornness to hide our relationship.   
Jealousy, that i felt for the metaphysical presence of his past, is the same as he felt, but he put it to action.

But out off all, Im scared because our relationship isn't inside the area of what you call "the social norm".   
As i lamented, foot steps try to pass me and hide, i knew the tone of the weight in every whisper of a step. It was James trying to pass me going to the door.

"James i know its you, come here" i said in a calm manner. James shifted his feet, going nearer and nearer to me, his eyes were a in sorrow in a way i could never explain.

" I just dont want to be a bother" he said looking down on his feet. 

"Sit" I said as I patted the area beside me.

"I know i haven't clearly said it before, but no matter what i do or say. . . Just know i will always be helplessly in love with you" i said, as i looked into his blue orbs. his eyes seemed to water, as tears start to drip, immediately he covered his face with the palm of his hands.

"Dont look" he said in an embarrassed tone. i pushed his head on my chest and patted his head.


	24. Ch. 24 faux rendezvous

James' POV

A sleek black tie, over a maroon shirt, topped with a well tailored black blazer. Black slacks matched with polished leather shoes. After dressing up in side his walk-in closet, he went out then lead himself to a locked drawer to retrieve a expensive looking silver watch. he slicked back his hair, in a clean-cut yet natural manner.  
He always looked so posh, wearing branded clothes and such, but right now it was a different air of posh. it was like he was going to meet the fucking Queen.   
He noticed me stare at his every move. he faced my way, then made a flirtatious wink of assurance. Just a few minutes ago, Michael explained the present situation concerning a certain American model.

And i know this is like a deal-off between michael and her, but why does he have to look so damn attractive in a suit.   
He stepped in to his garage, went in his silver painted royce. i didn't exactly know the model, but it was fairly new, i think it was the wraith model, maybe?  
He stepped in, started his engine then placed his hand over the wheel. he pressed the button for the automatic garage door, then he moved the wheel, making the vehicle move back.

But then he stopped midway, half of the car exposed to the world. he stepped out, walked towards me and pecked my lips.

"Bye Hunny, dont wait for me" he says quoting an old black and white film, with a 40's era voice. This obviously made me laugh, he grinned at his success and pinched my nose.

"Dont look so serious" then went back to his car, then drove away.

" Can't help it, im a tad too worried" i said with a little side look to the floor

I was certainly unsettled. For one, i have good reason to be worried. i mean, i looked the woman up, and she is GORGEOUS. FRICK'IN GORGEOUS.  
Leggy and tall, stylish and beautiful, not to mention looking young (because i cant really say 28 is a young age) Im at a loss compared to her.  
In the kitchen and scrambled through the fridge and cupboards, to find anything i can cook for dinner. 

I looked at the time and saw it was 8:49 pm. Michael left a few minutes earlier then the designated time, no matter who she was, she was still a lady, thus michael went to pick her up early like a proper gentleman, which triggered a compulsive irritation inside of me.

/11:27 pm/

What the fuck! I dont know what is going on, i am freaking out. Its already past my two hour expectation. Ive been sitting around, watching telly. I've even started cleaning the flat (which is although very organized, is extremely dusty). which i dont usually do. i settled in my designated bed and tried to fall asleep (which failed miserably).

/2:19 am/

I was rolling around the bed. thinking the restaurant must be closed by now. FUCK IT! Im going to find him, i thought to myself.   
I opened the front door, only to find, just a few steps away, a seemingly drunk Michael (which is a first for me) with his arm slinged around, a woman's shoulder. I couldnt make out who it was, but my premonition was extremely accurate not only precise. I hate it that I'm right.  
She went up to me, dragging the half asleep Michael. She paused at the sight of me.

" A little help?" She declared looking straight at me. i went to her side and since i cant exactly carry the bigger man, i just help her with carrying him through my shoulder. 

As we entered the living room, i threw his body weight on the couch. the woman then exhaled, as she sat on one of the single seaters. 

"Hi there, the name is Lia!" She said then put out her hand.

"James, how do you do?" I said responding to her greeting, then grabbing her hand. Smiling at her politely.

"So what exactly are you doing here?" She asked to my discomfort

"Im staying here for a while, I'm a family friend" i said trying to fool the girl.

"That's not what i heard. . . " she said in a smirk and a glare, after crossing her legs.

"Let's have a little chat, shall we?" She uttered wiping off her smirk to a fierce deadly full on glare.


	25. Ch. 25 Faux Rendezvous pt. 2

Michael's POV

I arrived at Marco's studio, at about 8:23 pm, a tad earlier then the given time. i parked parallel to the building, i walked across the street, the weather seemed to go against me and pulled a down pour on me. i ran to shade, on the front door of the studio.

There i sat on the steps, luckily i wasn't entirely drenched, just slightly soaked. amides my in-verbal swearing, a shadow casted on to me.  
I looked up to see, a brunette woman in a red heart cut, strapless dress. her dress was tight on her pale skin. Her skin on legs, also shoed her pale complexion through the high slit on her dress. she carried a golden clutch on one hand and an umbrella on the other. 

"Miss me?" She asked giving a seductive smile.

"Hardly" i said as i stood up.

"Im not exactly in the mood to eat at chateau de I'or, right now." i added

"That's an understatement" she said.   
Well obviously i hated her kind of affection. she was too constricting, and knew my every move. . . It was clearly abnormal and unsettling. 

"How about a pub then?" She suggested shading me under the umbrella, moving closer at me.

" I would like that, very much" i said finally making eye contact.

So i opened the door to my car, and let her in. she then suggested a little Irish pub called "Benvolio" ( although the name is Italian) near a close intersection.   
I parked right in front of it, we entered the pub, and was greeted by a gruff bartender, in a suit. 

"Well hello, my dear!" He said to Lia.

"How are you William? And how's little Peter?" She asked

"He and I are alright. it seems you've got quite a catch here, i see?" He answered with a swirl of a comment.

"The usual" she said as she sat at the front counter, i obligated and sat beside her. 

The tall chair she sat on revealed the skin of her legs, as she was cross-legged. she leaned on the counter, which exposed the top of her chest.   
Men started staring at her, as she waited for her cocktail. i took off my blazer and put it on the girl's shoulders.

"Shy i see" she said to me in a wink.

"More of shameless in your part" i said pointing to the men, smirking at our direction.

Her order came, it was a bloody mary, served in flamed at the scotch glass.

"What about you, sir?" William asked, as he looked at my direction.

"Do you have any sparkling chardonnay or whiskey?"   
I asked, for a small fact i torn, I wanted to drink a strong enough liquor, but also wanted a tinglingly sweet taste of chardonnay.

"We have both, but i recommend our personal made chardonnay, 'Calvary 1989' " he said

"Isn't it fairly young?" I said

"It wouldn't hurt to try it, dont go all critic on him" Lia butted in.

" Alright, a bottle would be fine" i said in a growing irritating mood.

After all i could be cuddling with James, while watching a movie, on the sofa. or even just reading a book with him is romance enough.  
I took a sip on the brim of the thin wine glass. the cavalry 1989 was good, but lacked time. 

" Can i have some?" Lia asked after I've had a few glasses

"Sure. I'm going to the loo" i said as i stood up.

After a while i came back, she pour a drink for me and her. i drank it in a one-shot attempt. my head went fuzzy and loose, i felt my body was out of control, all i remembered is the heavy weight of my body and the loss of senses. 

Black was all i saw.


	26. Ch. 26 the talk

James' POV

 

A cold tension grasps on our atmosphere. what am i supposed to do now?

 

"What exactly do you know?" I asked, as i sat down opposite to the girl.

 

"I know enough" she said leaning forward to me.

 

"What do you mean by **_enough_** " my palms sweat at my grip.

 

"Number 1, you met Michael at the train.

Number 2, your his ' ** _lover_** ' " the word sizzled in her mouth.

 

"Ohh, how **_ROMANTIC_** " she added in a sarcastic tone at the word.

 

"Who told you? That's the worst lie I've ever heard" i stated, with cold sweat dripping through my back.

 

" ** _Lie_**? Funny how you put that blame on me. . . hypocrite's really are the worst" she said with a snare.

Her pretty features crumpled up, at the face of her true colors.

 

"What exactly is your motive?" I asked as she stood up and walked towards the third presence in the room.

 

"You, i want you to get out of my way. go back to that shitty hole you came from! I dont care where it is, i just dont want a trace of your existence on him." she said as she sat the coffee table and faced Michael then caressed his arm.

 

"Too bad you've tasted him, before i did" she added, which sickens me. All the blood from my face dropped, to make me a pale as white sheet of paper.

I couldn't speak, my body went numb.

 

"Why are you doing this?" I asked with a shaken voice.

 

I wasn't scared of the physical attack she can lay upon me, but her power in media. i know this kind of relationship is frowned upon, and the risk right now is Michael's career going a downwards spiral.

 

"Easy, i love this man" she said, smooth on her tongue.

 

"You dont even know him personally, how could that be? You cant just love a person like a flick of a switch" i said. she proceeded to giggle.

 

" Of course not, what am i seventeen? But i will answer your question, since this guy doesn't seem to remember. . . I am what you call a childhood friend, i was eight, i

forgot how old he was then, but he was close to my age. we would always play on the fields, his grandfather owned at the country side. . . His family got a job here at London and had to leave. he said 'promise me you'll marry me someday' and said yes. I held on that promise for years and followed him here, but he was too high to reach, i worked hard to reach the top, just to see him. **_Dont i deserve him more then you!? "_** she said as she faced me her fist shook in anger.

 

"But you cant force him to love you, and who would believe a commitment given by a child?!" i exclaimed she slapped my face with the back of her hand, with such force the right side of my lip teared and bleed.

 

"I did, i believe him! **_He promised_** and that's all i care about, because no matter what you do or say you won't stop me!" She said as she stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut.


	27. ch. 27 truth on paper

Michael's POV

My head spun as i slowly opened my eyes. I looked around to see a familiar scenery, as well as James sitting in the reclining chair, muttering something under his breath. He noticed that i had already gained consciousness, but he didn't greet or even show a lift in his lips.  
He just got up and picked up his trainers, put them on and left, with his last remarks being . . . 

"Im going to jog for a while, just go to sleep, and maybe think about the past" before he snared at the door and walked off.

Did i do something wrong? What think about the past?  
an unsettled feeling pinned me to where i was . . . 

"past? past? what past?" i said over and over again. 

but then i realized . . . how am i at home? i only had at least two glasses of Chardonnay, it's practically impossible for me to get drunk like that. how did i even get here? Lia couldn't possibly . . . No! please dear god don't tell me James picked me up! God please no! Lia might have pulled a background check on him or something. . . is that what James was telling me?

i got up and tried to find the whereabouts of James, the bustling streets of London isn't exactly friendly to its visitors after all.   
but luckily only a handful of places are open at this time of day, i looked around and remembered a place like Hexham, it had lush green, a little secluded and silence reminiscent to the town, it was a park about a few blocks away.

i entered the slightly open gates of the dim lighted area. the bustling of leaves is the only audible sound. i walked down the path of stone pavements going to the play ground, with a single lit lamp post.

the creaking sound of the swing alarmed me of a presence, i peeked at the figure who's back was the only visible bodily trait in my view, seated at the third swing with only slow, constant and low motions of the contraption. 

the figure had a similar grey sweater and blue jeans with the person in question, was already a red flag of who it was. as i stood behind him, his trance like state, prevented him from noticing me, his head was down and his back was hunch and palm resting on his knees. 

his silence was deafening, making me ponder about his former constant joy slowly faded as he stayed with me longer.   
i sat down on the swing beside him, he finally looked at me, bringing a faint smile, before looking down.

"whats wrong?" i asked 

"nothing really" he said slightly monotone.

"don't lie to me, come on tell me" i said as i patted his head and ruffled it, making his wavy locks curve in all directions.

"are promises supposed to be kept?" he asked looking at me straight in the eyes, his blue orbs glinted against the post light.

"well i think yes, especially if you hold on to it and cherish it so much. . . " i said before being cut off.

"but what if its one sided? what if it makes you miserable? what if everything or everyone you cherished would drift away or disappear?" he said in a desperate tone.   
I've never been in such a situation, so i never came up with an appropriate answer. his, lips pressed tighter with my silence.

"j-just never mind. . . lets just go home" he said in a simplified way before walking off, leaving me where i sat.   
i grabbed his arm from behind, and pulled him close to exact a kiss on his lips. his eyes widened with the sudden heat and pressure, opposite to the cold temperature of the surrounding. 

as we were about to part, a sudden flash of light flashed from the trees and the crushing of leaves under foot steps sped up and passed, by instinct i ran towards the sound, then a sudden thud stopped the perpetrator as the person fell on to the ground tripping on a big root of one of the trees thank god, which made him easier to catch. another sound was heard behind me, luckily it was just James.

the perpetrator was a young woman in a red beanie hat, and a camera hung from her slender neck. i then took the camera and threw it before stomping on it, making the lens in to shards of glass, as i pulled the perpetrator and lifted her face to the light to reveal a familiar face.

"Lia . . . " an un-awed voice of James said.

"don't say my name, you filth of a person!" she said with an obvious irritation.

her lips pressed together, and spoke in a familiarly native manner,

"blöd mikhail . . . Sie noch nie aufgefallen, die Falschheit, von dem dummen amerikanischen Akzent . nach all den Jahren, mich vergessen. . . Ich wartete und wartete."  
[translation]  
[stupid Michael . . . you never even noticed the fakeness, of that stupid american accent. after all these years, you forget me. . . i waited and waited.]

she said in the free dept of her words, like a missing part of a puzzle in her individuality has merge whole again.

"wer bist du?"  
[translation]  
[who are you?] 

i said to the visible surprise of James, who has yet to know of half of my lineage.

"ein alter Freund"  
[translation]  
[an old friend]

she said this time smiling at our close proximity.

i thought hard, and dug up my past, placing a search for a old friend but i failed to remember any except one. . . 

"Amelia Furst. . . ?" i said in both question and statement.

"Sie endlich heraus"   
[translation]  
[you finally figured it out]

my face contorted, at the revelation, to the an unconfortable pose.

"Michael what is it?" James asked to my terror face

"my fiance"


	28. Ch. 28 wooden dolls

James POV

"You have a Fucking fiancé?!" I said in outrage

"It was not my idea, it was my grandfather . . . To expand out assets" he said as we greet the home, with an argument.

" Assets? What kind of family do you have? This is not the middle ages, you don't need to be in this arrangement" I spouted, throwing my weight on the long leather couch.

"You first have to calm down, you have to understand that I don't love her! And I'm breaking off the proposal" he said as he seated himself on the reclining chair.

"It was war, our family had land all overall Germany. . . And we lost our lands under hitlers reign, since our family escaped, and sided with the allied forces. My grandfather became a soldier, and became friends with general Furst, Amelia's grandfather to merge the families. . . " he explained at trying to clear the tension.

"We lost everything, supposedly my father was going to wed the Furst family's second daughter, but eloped with an Irish girl, my mother" he added 

He then stood up and went over to the marble and we'll embellished counter, where a collection of half consumed whiskey bottles reside.  
He then picked his favorite one, with the label 'Vermont', and pulled a whiskey glass from the cupboard. He proceeded to walk back, sit and pour his drink in our utter silence.  
He then took a sip, and tilted it, before putting it down the coffee table. 

"My grandfather found out that i was born, and 'forgave' my father for eloping. . . So we moved back to Germany under my grandparent's care. . . Then Amelia started to visit, when i turned eleven." he said almost choking at a flash of memory.

"We used to play together, because she was close to my age. . . You know whats funny? She knew i was her fiancé before i did, and before my parents even knew" he said after taking a long sip of the drink, to wash away the distasteful experience. 

"It seems her father and grandfather, filled her head about marrying me! When my parents found out about my engagement, we fled back here. . . Because my parents wanted me to experience, a freedom to choose what i wanted to do. i thought they lost hope about it already" Michael uttered in visible grief.

"But why? Why is your grandfather so desperate to bound both families? Doesn't he want your happiness?" I question the actions taken, to measure the depth of the situation.

" my grandmother died at war, since then my grandfather changed. . . Or so my dad said.   
Then my grandfather became crazy with keeping my grandmother's memory, but all we owned were taken by the nazis." He continued as his hands fisted and clenched cloth of his pants.

"But some of the lands that was taken, was bought by general Furst, near the end of the war. That is why he wants someone to marry into the family to get it back" he said pinning the words down.

" So it was never about your grandfather and general Furst's friendship, but land?" I asked 

"Yes, he never got over my grandmother. . . He held on too much, that he forgot he had a legacy left by my grandmother, my Father.

He stopped caring about our happiness after that, so we just gave up and left. . . I never expected my past to haunt me again.  
Not to mention, with Amelia's head filled with promises i didnot make, she now thinks she loves me. . .i feel that she thinks she is obligated to marry me" he said with a specific pressure in his chosen words.

"All she feels is an illusion by nurture, nothing else" he spat like poison.

As I recount the details, I reflected on the grandfather's action . . . If I hadn't let go of Cecilia, will i be like that? Holding on to a distant, unneeded memory.  
And as for obligations to love . . . I questioned myself the same before . . . Am i hurting Michael?   
My hands shivered at the idea, my chest contracted, a burning pain. . . Am I guilty?

"James. . . Ja-" Michael said calling me out

And the sound of a thud rang in my left ear.   
My eyes begun to move, with a silhouette of man, over me. 

"Are you ok? My god you scared me" it was Michael with an obviously concerned face. 

"What happened?" I said as i sat up, and a wet towel fell to my lap.

"Lay down, you have fever. . . Its your fault for running out with thin clothes in the middle of autumn" he said as he once again aided me

" Michael am i a bother to you?" I asked in anticipation 

"Don't be silly, it must be the fever talking" he said as he laid me back to bed.

"No! Im serious, please answer me! " i pleaded and struggled as he tried to calm me.

"If your being difficult, like right now, then yes. so behave, don't act like a child and sleep" he said, with a serious tone.

I stopped struggling and obeyed. I relaxed myself, to the soft silk cover of the bed.   
Michael stood up, which made me reach and hold on to his sleeve.

"Don't go" i said a little embarrassed but pleading.

He then cracked a smile, and sat at my bedside caressing my chestnut fringe. a sense of serene comfort fell upon me, as a drifted of to sleep.


	29. Ch. 29 under the cover

Michael's POV

I stayed by James' bedside, the whole time he slept making me hear confessions of what he had in mind. His talk was more of muffled mumbling, but still decipherable.

"N-nho Immm nhat a hwomm rhekcer"  
[translation]  
[ N-no I'm not a home wrecker ]

He said as he started to struggle. But he then suddenly stopped.  
It seems like the truth is slowly unraveling, as the ticking of the clock continued to move, which kept me up all night.

"Mhykel, dhont liiieeevvv! Plweez stweay whith me!"  
[translation]  
[ Michael, don't leave! Please stay with me!]

He then broke out in cold sweat. i shook him trying to wake him up. his eyes shot up, as he woke up gasping for air. He then sat himself up, trying to calm his breath.  
He looked at me so defenselessly, he pursed his lips, as his hands shook.

"I'm going to get water" i said as i stood up and headed to the kitchen, where the glasses are kept and where the water dispenser is placed. 

I walked through the hall, and peeked by the open door frame, to see his condition. only to see James, resting his head on the palm of his hands.  
I knocked on the door, to get his attention, then proceeded to walk in. i sat at his bedside, then tap his shoulder.  
When he finally looked i handed him the glass, he slowly sipped it, then handed it to me with only a small portion consumed.

I placed it on the bedside table, looked at him intently. I silently begged for answers through my eyes, hoping he'll get the message.  
But in all honesty from his pervious words, any person with common sense, can complete the entanglement of the dream. i just wanted to hear it from him.  
He then sighed, and faced me with all seriousness.

"Please just finish your business with Lia" that was all he uttered, which was good enough for me.  
But then he did the unexpected latched on my right hand, holding it tightly with both of his. He then muttered simple words, that made me feel elated.

"I will always love you" he said like a vow.

It then hot me with an idea, so i stood up, to James' surprise, then walked off without a word.   
I went to my room, and enter my walk in closet, where a locked cabinet was present.   
I then unlocked it and proceeded to rummage, through it, where at the very back corner of the cabinet, i found my sought after item.  
I then took it, and locked it once again. i walked back to James' room, where a dumb founded, James sat there still.  
I then sat beside him and took his hand.

"You know this may not be the best time. . . But I want to spend every waking moment with you, i hope you know that, whatever happens I will always take your side. I will always make time to protect you, listen to you and I will always be there in your strongest and weakest moments" i said   
As i took out a red velvet box, that was tucked in my pocket.

The box was obviously old and so did it's content. I pulled out the ring, and tried to fit it in his finger to no avail. So i gave up.

"Sorry, it was a spontaneous proposal. . . I'll do it better next time" i said laughing off the embarrassment.  
But still, as i looked at James, only to see that he wore a euphoric smile.

"No it's fine, it's perfect as it is" he said smiling gleefully, as he pecked on my lips.

"This is enough" he uttered looking at the ring, which his hand held as it rested on his lap.  
It was a simple golden ring, that had three embedded white stones on it.

"It was my mother's engagement ring. she really cared for it, because my dad, who was previously supported all his life, had worked for the first time, just to buy my mother that ring. . . It took him seven months, to buy it" I explained, as i exposed it's sentiment to me.

"Well, it's beautiful" James said. 

"Im sorry I don't have a ring to exchange" he added making a slight melancholy face, mixed with the happiness.

"No it's fine, it was my idea after all and I'm sorry it doesn't fit, i'll buy you a better one, I promise" i swore, eying his reaction .

"No, this is really perfect, I don't need any other one" he uttered with a joyous tune.

He then stood up, and rummaged his bags. He then came back with a silver necklace chain, which he then slipped through the ring and wore it, with a smile.  
He then pulled my head to his chest, and embraced it, making me hear the speed of his heart pumping swiftly.

He then slowly let go, i looked up, our orbs then met, he cupped my face with his palms and kissed me passionately.  
As we gasped for air as we parted, I remembered my responsibility to fix the situation, for our peace.  
I stopped James from continuing, and pulled out my phone.  
I dialed the number, Amelia used to text me before. at the first ring, she immediately replied.

"So you've finally come to your senses" she declared obviously feeling a nonexistent victory.

"No we need to talk" i said with diction, to indicate my seriousness. 

"Ok, then go -" she said, but i cut her off mid sentence.

"No, no more shenanigans, you drugged me last time, this time I'm not falling for it again. Come here at our place, lets talk here" i said with force, as hearing her voice irritated me already.

"Did you just say our place? OUR place" she said with displeasure about the truth.

"You heard it right, so if you want to settle this, come here. it's about time to finish this" i said, as i watch James listen intently to the conversation. 

" I refuse to say that and i refuse to acknowledge the existence of that relationship. i am going to make you realize that, that thing is a dreadful mistake!" She said as she   
screamed in anger and frustration.

"Well that 'mistake' is going to be with me for the rest of my life, so face reality, I'm not a puppet, that obeys orders, like you!" I said feeling my temper rise.

"We will finish this tomorrow" she said before cutting off our communication.


	30. Ch. 30 realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for the late update, i was busy these past few weeks.   
> And it seems, that because of sudden burst of ideas, i will extend the story.  
> Please enjoy

James POV

The tense feeling of her presence hung between our two parties as we met, she was alone but i felt as though she brought a whole army.

She wore a matching red slacks and suit jacket, that hugged her curvy figure, she also wore a off-white turtleneck under it and black leather pumps to top it off. Her businesslike appearance increased her intimidation level.  
She moved herself to the one seater, crossed her left leg over the right and rested hands on her left legs kneecap. 

"Lets make this fast, I have an appointment in thirty minutes, so i better be off in a few. . ." she uttered in a monotone manner. I was surprised at the announcement, i personally thought Michael would be her number one priority.

"The engagement is off!" Michael started off, as the bickering begun. He stood up where he was seated, which was beside me on the long couch.

"I will never let you go" she said in a pressed manner

"Marriage is about a mutual love, I don't love you and you don't love me! Thats a fact! Your head is just filled with that false expectations, your father and grandfather put in" Michael declared, clarifying what she was feeling. 

"You don't know how i feel" she screamed, as she stood up as well.

"You don't understand how i feel" Michael said, as a form of mold rebuttal.

"Look, in the end you'll end up with me, so give up you hope to be . . . With THAT!" She spat, as she couldn't even say my name.

"His name is James not 'that', he is what i live for, what i need! He right now is the reason why i breath." Michael said at the spur of the moment, which made me feel the heat of my blush growing on my pale cheeks.

The room turned silent and all motion fell still, only the sound of the ticking clock was heard. Lia looked at the clock on the wall, she then pulled the edge of her jacket to fix her shuffled look. she composed herself, looked at me and Michael.

"Well my minutes are up, this will continue on our next meeting" she said simply, then walked off to door and slammed it behind her figure.  
Michael released a tense sigh, and dropped his weight on the soft leather couch. 

"My god, everything is turning crazy" he said to himself, like a whisper of realization, as he pressed the bridge of his nose, to expose his feeling of annoyance.  
A tune suddenly rang, it was coming from Michael's left jean pocket. he slowly pulled it out with his left hand and slide his finger across the screen to answer the caller.

"Hello?" He said in a deep voice, to convey his annoyance to the caller.  
A muffled voice of an obviously worried woman, struggled to speak in a proper sentence. her anxious tone made her almost jumble her words so much that it didn't make sense.

"What? Since when?!" Michael shouted to the phone, which made my oblivious state more confusing. His face grew paler then usual and his right hand formed to a fist.

"Ok bye" he said as sweat prickled his face, his lips pursed as he groaned in an unamused manner.

"Whats wrong" i asked in a worried tone.

"Nothing. never mind that" he said, making my curiosity peak.

His phone once again rang a tune, he speedily answered, making me wonder even more.

"Who are you?" he asked as he went on and pressed for the loud speaker, to let me in the sudden conversation.

"This Allan Page, a bartender at 'Merlot', the pub near Watson's street by the intersection. Your friend here is dead drunk, you were first in her contacts mate, better pick her up" he said with a welsh accent, accompanied by clear directions.

Michael looked at the caller ID and found out who 'her' was . . . It was stephanie. 

"I'll be their in thirty minutes" he said as he ended the call. He picked up his car key's, near the counter that was filled with the half full booze.

"Coming?" He asked as he finally broke into a smile for me. We drove through the traffic streets, until we finally saw a sign that read 'merlot', and parked in front of it.

We went into the pub, only to see two men, wearing a white apron over their black pants and wearing a black shirts with individual name tags attached to their chests, were trying to calm a slumped woman, who was throwing a fit.

It was stephanie, she sounded drunk out of her mind.

"Let go of me!" She shouted over and over again.

We came up to the bartenders, who were shocked at who picked up the woman. 

"Sorry for the trouble, I'm here to pick her up" Michael uttered to the astonishment of the two.

it seems they recognized Michael, but luckily not Stephanie, who was a mess and had bags under her eyes that made her look older.  
If they found out it was the famed stephanie kyle, this incident could be fatal to her career.

I put Stephanie's right arm over my neck and Michael did the same for the left.  
We put her in the back seat of the car, as we occupied the two front seats.  
Stephanie started to cry, and mumbled to herself, until she finally said audible words.

"How could you do this to me Cas? Running of with that man!" She said flinging her hands and kicking the back of our seats.

"Looks like Steph broke up with Cas" Michael muttered.

"Cas?" I questioned

"Casey Blake, Steph's two year girlfriend. . . Correction, ex girlfriend" Michael said explaining Steph's present state.

"Wait, Steph is a lesbian?!" I said, pulling off a higher intrigued tone. 

"Well yes. but its not public yet" Michael said gesturing with his free hand, as the other was on the steering wheel.

Stephanie then growled and stated to lecture about love, continuously.

As we turned at the last corner near our house, Michael's eyes shot a dead stare. he the stopped the engine of the car, and ran out.  
I then followed behind him, as i was looking for answers for the sudden movements.

He then stopped near our door step, where an elderly man stood beside a woman wearing red.  
I recognized the woman to be Lia, but i don't know who the man was.  
The man looked at our direction and plastered a smile on his face.

Michael froze, and uttered the unexpected.

"Grandfather . . . "


	31. Ch. 31 war hero = war villain

Michael POV

"Sir, Coffee or tea?" James asked in a courteous manner, with a slight plastered smile on his face.   
The old man held up his hand in a stop, and smiled.

"None. I don't want to be stereotypical, but i would prefer a beer or something stronger" the old man said in a superior yet gentle voice, tainted with a thick germanic accent. 

"Then whiskey or scotch?" James said, informing our uninvited guest with our alcoholics.

"Your best scotch" the old man said, but then looked at the girl beside him, and smiled, a softer tone.

"What about you darling?" He said asking his companion.

"Scotch too" she said almost smirking in a slight victory.

James was obviously irritated serving her, but still maintained a normal and formal behavior.  
James then walked to the kitchen to fix the drinks, my eyes followed him, until a forced cough got my attention.

"I found out about the news from, Amelia" he said, in a serious expression.

My palms sweat with anxious anticipation, what will he do? I thought, as he might separate me and James. i never want that to happen. never.

"Congratulations!" He said, in a joyous manner that puzzled me. 

"You approve of our relationship?" I questioned in complete and utter disbelief.

"Why yes, i never thought you would finally agree to us. well Amelia did became very beautiful, but i thought you would retaliate more" he said clearing the puzzle, but not the misunderstanding.

A crash from behind filled the room with the sound of shattering glass, and a dumbfounded look was painted on James' face.   
He didn't mind the carpet being stained by the stench and color of scotch, or the shards of the shattered glasses and bottles spread around, because the news was much more tragic then broken items.

"Oh uncle, i forgot to introduce Michael's Best Friend and best man, James" Amelia said, smirking at the turn of events and lied about our relationship title.

Gran stood up and went over to James, who was stuck in his spot. Gran, shook his hand and patted his back.

"Thank you for taking care of my grandson, I thought it was weird that your the one serving our drinks, but i guess it's normal since your Michael's Best friend." My gran pressed, specific words that was implanted to my head. 

"I-thank you . . . Sir" James sounded like he was in the brink of tears, but held on.

"Don't call me sir, call me Edvard" he said, again patting James' back.

"I-I'll go check on Stephanie" he said, and walked off to the last room of the upstairs corridor, where Steph slept, after we carried her up.

"Is Stephanie, his girlfriend? Lucky man, finding such a pretty girl" my gran stated, to my irritation.

" . . . Gran, I think you should leave" i said brushing my hair with my fingers.

"I think it's also for the best, you just came from a flight" Amelia said, in a sickeningly sweet manner.

"I guess you both, are two halves of an apple. I also think it's about time i rested, do you mind me staying, here?" Gran said, but i feel the idea is better on another day.

"Why don't you stay at my house for tonight uncle? I wanted you to visit my flat too" Amelia said, mimicking a child, but for the first time I'm thankful she was here.

"Well, if it's my soon to be granddaughter-in-law's request, i guess it's fine" he said, then left by riding the RollsRoyce Amelia owned.

As i waved, i slammed the door and ran off to James. I opened the occupied door with a slam, to see James calmly tending to a sleeping Steph.

"Jame . . ." i said, before he looked at me with a little sense of dread, which silenced me.

He got up and passed through the door frame, i followed him, and silently shutting the door, to avoid disturbing Steph.  
I saw James go down the stairs and walked to the direction of his bedroom, on the hall near the kitchen.

I then entered the room to a stoically face James, sitting on his bed. his arms and legs crossed, with there individual partners.

"Let me explain . . . Actually, I can't . . . " I said as I sat beside him" his personality seemed to have hardened, after a few instances of our turbulent relationship.

"Look, i thought at first they were talking about you and me. . . I didn't expect the misunderstanding, i an so sorry " i said pleading for any form of forgiveness, as i faced is side, but he avoided my eyes.  
A sigh escaped his lips, and pursed it, as if forcing composure.

"Lets give up" my eyes widened, in disbelief.

"What?!" I almost screamed.

"I've had enough. . . Do you know how I feel? . . . This is already a crazy mess to start with, how did you expect me to react? when I'm so tired of feeling, that I'm always being robbed of my own happiness." He said with his hands shaking, but not a tear escaped.

"This time. This time i won't expect a happy ending. . . We're going back to how we were in Hexham . . . Friendly strangers" he added, realizing my nightmares coming true.

"I can't . . . I can't let you go" I said, as I gripped his wrist tightly, he winced at the sudden pressure.

A crash from upstairs startled our conversation, James stood up and slipped out of my grip. He looked at his wrist, revealing a red hand mark.

"I-I'm sorry - I didn't mean to hurt you - i was just . . . " I said, struggling to spill my words out.

"Michael, that's the point, you didn't mean to hurt me . . . But in the end you still did, let that sink in" he said as he walked out still rubbing his wrist.  
I couldn't answer anything back, he was right, but even now . . . I'll never let him go.


	32. Ch.32 date count

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, my internet router had problems. . . So i had to survive a week without Internet, while it was being fixed  
> which made me panic buy 3 books . . . Because of fear of boredom.  
> Anyway enjoy :)

Michael's POV

"So when do you plan to set the wedding?" A pitched tone said making me, shudder at the thought.

The old man that was seated in front of me, placed his hand down his lap. His suit wrinkled at his movements.

Exuding a formal atmosphere, gran was of course strict, he was never the type to laze around. 

he is also EXTREMELY ATTENTIVE, if you promise something in front of him, you better do it, exactly as you said it, because he knows full well what EXACTLY you said.

So I couldn't possibly tell him a date, because I can't fulfill his expectations. 

"I -I. . . " i stuttered, paling at the thought.

A sigh escaped from his lips, and looked at me closely, as if observing my every move. it felt as though i was in the presence of a dim lit secured room, pressured by an interrogatory question.

"I guess it's fine, i mean your young! You have the time in the world. . . I guess I'll have to hold on a little longer, just to see you walk down the aisle" he said endearingly. i gave a light snicker, and looked at my lap. my eyes fell back on my elder, his face contorted.

"Is there a problem?" He asked, in all seriousness.

"Gran . . . The woman is usually the one that walks the aisle" I said clearing my opinion, on the ritualistic action.

"Ahh, I see" he said simply, he then shut his eyes, and leaned on the couch.

"Michael, I am sorry . . . " he said, before drifting off to sleep.  
I never thought, today would be the day, that Gran was going to show his defenseless side.

I grew up knowing of how well guarded he was of others, he hated showing the weak old man that he was.

He also never trusted anyone to fix his library, which was cluttered with lot of World War memorabilia (that he managed to bring home, after the war), books and even a functioning antique cobalt gun (that was on display). 

But the room was also littered with stacks of documents in old brown folders and envelopes, in between a few was a collection of black and white photos. the photos were mostly of my Grandma, it consisted of her doing mundane   
house hold chores, she was smiling in almost every picture, except for one. . . 

She was looking out the window, holding a cloth on one hand.   
My father said, that picture was taken when the war almost infected all of Germany. Since our family generally lived in a countryside, village news of the war never catched on quickly.

And it seems that she was actually looking at a troop of Nazi soldiers, that was heading our village.

That photo was the only one of my Grandma that was in a frame, i know the room's sentimental value to Gran, but still sometimes i want him to move on . . . Starting with that room.

But he would go on fits, even with the slightest move of any objects in that room, that made the items collect dust.

My thoughts put me in a state in a trance like state, but as I recollected the memories. . . My void of thought got deeper.

What was gran sorry about? I asked myself as i stared blankly at Gran.  
"If you want to say something say it, child" he said snapping me out of my trance.

"Uhh-uahh, your awake?!" I said in late reaction.

"Hardly, you staring is waking me up" he said, eyes still shut.

"Sorry Gran. . ." I said, as I stood up and headed the direction of Steph's room, as James was there tending to Steph, in hopes to reconcile.

I stopped midway, as the thick accented German started to speak, in a form of request. . . Well actually a command.

"Tomorrow, surely you have work. So i want your best man to join me, to sight see around town" he said in absolute confidence.

"I CANT!" I said in almost a shout.

"Why not?" He said calmly

"Be-because he's not really from around here" i said swiftly.  
I am not exactly happy with the idea, of James being alone with Gran. Gran may be old, but he is extremely sharp.

"Perfect, we then really should do it together . it would be like an adventure to an unknown land" he said in a pleasant way.

I half heartedly agree, because i feel that no matter what reason I throw at him. he would always find a way to throw it back at me.

"You what?!" James screamed, making the still hungover Stephanie groan.

"I had to, what ever I said, he would just make do with it or make a plausible reason himself . . . the conversation was too flexible to disagree with" i said in response.

"I can't! What if I slip up and he finds out about-" James stopped near the last part, and i knew what he was contemplating about.

"You said it yourself, that - that THING we HAD is gone. . . so what else we going to hide!" I said, heightening my pitch.

"TOO LOUD!!" Steph whined, covering her face with the extra pillow, that laid at her side on the bed.  
Making James stop tending to her, and walking out, and waited at the hall.

"Fine" he said calmly.

"But I'm doing it, because your my friend" he added, but saying a certain word, like poison that rolled around on his tongue.

"You were the one that wanted this" i said. 

James face wore an expression of sad regret, but still held on the pride of a man's word.

"I know" he said meekly.

He then suddenly, pressed his lips against mine.   
The rough kiss ended, with him pulling away and walk back to his room.  
Not saying a single remark, to my dumbfounded expression.


	33. ch. 33  family matters

James' POV

"So, where do you want to go?" I said casually. As the sunshine slightly blinded my eyes, as i looked around at the early morning scenery. it's been I while, since I woke up this early.

The older man look at me for a moment, then looked down at the map that was spread, by his hands touching each edge carefully, before crumpling it up and throwing it away.

I looked at the elder possibly with the most puzzled look i can muster, before he spoke in a jolly way.

"Well i did say I wanted adventure, then no need for maps." He said simply, looking at me with his peering green eyes, as if expecting a say from me.

"All right, lets go to a place you know" he said, waiting for my answer.

To be honest, I only know a few places around London.

"Any place would do?" I asked only to hear chuckle slip from his lips.

"Any place" he said in a kind tone.

So we walked a few blocks and entered my favorite place, in London. The crushing of dried crisp leaves under our feet calmed me, the older man had a kind tone but intimidating presence.

It also didn't help, that he was taller then me, but a little shorter then Michael.

We sat at the unoccupied bench near the play ground, it was school hours, so their wasn't much kids. The breeze chilled me, it was after all winter season already, but still no snow landed from the heavens.

"So, how long did you and Michael have been friends?" He asked, sounding much more serious then before.

"Not too long" i said vaguely.

"I see. . . I've heard from Amelia that . . . Michael met you at the train here in London" the pauses made me cringe, it was nerve wracking . . . He knew i said to myself, mentally over and over again.

"Why were you here?" His words made me jolt, I was not ready to answer that question yet. . . I dont think I will ever be. . .

"I-I had to fix a few things" i said, making his eyes squint at the information.

"A few things?" He asked, me again in a curious tone.

"Im not required to say . . . What it was. . . " i said vaguely once more, making my un-chatty mood known to the man.

He pulled out a cigar from his jacket chest pocket, and pulled out a golden lighter and cigar clipper.

He clipped an end of the cigar, and lit it with a flick of the lighter. He breath out a white smoke, from his lips and looked above.

"You know, I have a certain level of distrust to you" he said nonchalantly, pressing the cancerous against his lips again and inhaling.

"I've noticed" i said watching him.

"Never mind that, lets talk about Michael" he said, before silence hung between us.

"I must be getting old" he said snickering at himself.

"Did you know I have a dream . . . For Michael?" He added, silencing me even more. he let out a sigh, and continued.

"I dreamt that he would have, everything I didn't have . . . A quiet life, with a loving wife waiting for my return, children that value our traditions . . . " He said while wearing a sad expression.

"But . . . But what if, that's not the life Michael wanted. . . what if, your just pushing your expectations on him?" I said shutting my mouth immediately, as I realized what my words meant.

"Son, it's a what if . . . So I ask it back to you . . . So, what if he wanted a quiet life, what if he wanted a Wife waiting for him. . . " he stopped the trail of his rebuttal, making a pressure on the word. He finally looked at me, with a flared glare.

"We both don't have a say, on what he wants . . . So everything about this conversation, is just a hypothetical situation . . . So we wont know" he said clearing out the atmosphere.

Silence hung again, but this time it was longer . . . We just sat, and observed at each others company.

I let out a sigh, and mustered all i had.

" I was in London . . . To see my father . . . " i spoke, breaking the calm. I stepped on the uncharted territory of my mind.

"With that, I hope I lessened that distrust of yours" I said, as I got up.

"I'm going back first sir, i think you know how to get back on your own" i said, in a mask of expressionless grief.

"It's not too hard to memorize" the old man said, as i took my leave.

He just followed me with his sight, until i was out of view.


	34. Ch. 34 home?

Michael's POV

It was late, probably about 1 am, already. I was in a hateful state of fatigue, I love the job, but sometimes it felt as though the weight of the world, was on my shoulders.

A click on the front door startled me, it was surprisingly Gran.

He hung his black fur collared coat, on the wooden rack near the door.

"Gran, where were you?" I asked, he smiled in a slightly sinister way.

"Ask your friend" he answered, as he walked away, to the now vacant room.

The room was where Steph stayed for a few days, is now being loaned by my grandfather.

But he stopped midway, and spoke in a deep manner.

"Do you know anything, about that boy's father?"

It was unfathomable, why would you bring that up Gran? I asked, him mentally, my face showing an involuntary expression of perplexing proportions.

I suddenly gripped Gran's shoulder, as he turned.

"What do you mean, by that?!" I said in a pitched tone.

"Son, you know better then to touch me so roughly. . ." he said glaring at me, eye to eye.

His icy stare, made me release my grip.

"Relax, I didn't do anything out of line, I just asked him what he was doing in London, before you two met . . . He was not particularly happy about the queries though" he said, this time he wore a smug smirk.

"And if you don't know why he was here, then that man is not telling us something . . . and I intend to find out myself" he added in striking confidence.

"Get out of that gutter of a head of yours, your a fool to trust a stranger!" Gran said in almost a yell.

"I should say the same for you . . . " I said as I Walked off to my room upstairs.

"You have no right to say that! I am a part of you FAMILY! Not a man that suddenly walked in you life!" Gran screamed at me fuming.

"That's the point Gran! Your supposed to be a part of MY family! Families don't pawn each others happiness to others for material things!" I said with agony tainting my voice.

"You don't even know, what i feel! Because you think YOUR WORD IS LAW! Why do you think dad left you alone!" I said, I finally said the words that was kept under sheets for years.

His face was neither in shock or confusion, its as if he knew the truth all this time.

"You knew all this time, didn't you . . . " i said as silence crept on us.

"How could i not know! Years Michael! Years I've waited, for your father to have a change of heart! I was alone!" The old man said, almost choking on his words.

"It's your own damn fault!" I said as a hard fist, slammed on the left side of my face.

The hard blow made a small cut at the edge of my lips, making it bleed. I touched it, only to feel a sting .

" If you haven't noticed, I don't love Amelia and have no intention of marrying her! I think you know who I actually care about! STOP FEIGNING IGNORANCE!" I said as i walked off, without saying a word.

I looked back to see his reaction, expecting a change. it was nothing, he just wore a blank expression as he stood there.

"Damn you Amelia, for telling anything to him" i muttered, as i went straight to James' room.

"James. . . " i muttered

I sat on the chair that was on the far corner of the room, and leaned back.

I loosened my black tie, and took of my leather shoes and kicked it to the side.

I was tired of everything, I'm tired of dealing with work and this stupid situation, and I already know the toll it has on my body.

then dizzy and drowsy feeling, drove my eyes to darkness.

Warm . . . I thought, as i felt a soft item cradle me.

My eyes peeked open, to show as soft blanket wrapped around me. I looked over to James, he was cover-less, which made me smile a bit.

"You still care" I muttered, as i stood up and moved beside James, as he seemed to have left a space for me to sleep on.

And covered both our bodies with the said blanket, i rested my chin on top of his head.

And once more closed my eyes, and drifted to a much more comfortable sleep.


	35. Ch. 35 announcement or escape?

James POV

 

The warmth wrapped around me, and the tingling touches were comforting, to say the least.

 

An heaving breath, perpetually released in a pattern above my head, awoke me.

I opened my eyes to witness blurry images, turn vivid. A purple cotton shirt was what i saw first, as I adjusted myself to be in proper view, I noticed our current position and immediately felt flustered, and a creeping flush dominated my pale cheek.

 

Michael let me borrow his left arm as a pillow, and rested his free hand on my waist, which prevented me to move.

 

But even in my current position, I could still have a clear view of the other's face and move my right hand.

 

In this close range, I tried to observe everything . . . All the nooks and crannies.

The Bags under his eyes were more visible close-up, and so was the stubbles growing on his chin to his neck.

 

I then new a addition to his face, was a bruce near his fresh on the left edge of his lip.

 

Which baffled me, after all being an actor, he would never let anything harm his face.

 

With my right hands index finger, i touched the cut, which made Michael wince.

 

"If your awake, isn't it better to say 'good morning' ?" I said as he slightly peeked one eye open, to see while he pretending to sleep. A small chuckle came out, a little breathy, as he seemed extremely Fatigued.

 

"You noticed?" He said, almost playfully.

 

"Obviously" i said, as i tried to shake out of his embrace.

 

"Let me out!" I demanded, continuing my previous actions .

 

He pulled me closer to him. In fact, close enough to hear his heartbeat in a constant thump, slowly accelerating, Making mine in sync.

He wrapped his legs around mine, as he once again shut his eyes.

 

"Stay with me a little longer!" he whined, making me giggle.

 

"It's not like I have a choice" i said, in a muffled voice, as I pressed my face on his chest.

 

Then silence swept through, making us simply enjoy each others company.

 

"Gran, said something to me . . . is something wrong with your dad?" Micheal said breaking the silence.

 

"Micheal. stop. just don't" i said, making a groan

 

"but still, I just want to . . . " he said, before i cut in his sequence

 

"I know you have good intentions but . . . Just no . . ." I said looking in his eyes with all seriousness.

 

"you have your secrets, I have mine" I said, making my escape from his en-capturing limbs.

 

I walked off to my closet and pulled on a beige loose knitted jumper (/sweater). i touched the door knob of the door, before strong arms pulled me from behind, by holding my waist, it threw me back to bed.

 

Michael, then moved on top of me and rested his head on my stomach. I let out a soft sigh and let him stay like that, in the mean time.

 

" I wont ask anymore. if you don't want to answer. . . Just let me rest, your really comfy you know" he said with a weak chuckle

 

" . . . do you, regret meeting me?" he asked, making a little shocked.

 

"what do you mean?" i asked back.

 

"I mean, there are more than seven billion people on this planet . . . all so beautiful in their own way . . . but, for me I can't imagine spending my whole life with any of them, but you . . . I can't say the same of you" he said, making the surprising revelation.

 

this made me flush, beet red. He gave me something to hold on, but it seems I didn't give the feeling back.

 

" I wouldn't say that I'm indifferent . . . to be honest, I can't tell you how much life you've given back to me. . . I would want to go back, to the time where we were still in Hexham . . . where no one knew who you are, where you weren't bounded by anything, no fights, no family, no drama " I said, spilling all my insecurities.

 

"do you, want to go back?" he asked, as i brushed it off as a joke.

 

"What?" I said, trying to clear things out.

 

"do. you. want. to. go. back. to. Hexham?" he said, mouthing it word per word.

 

as i just nodded, and smiled.


	36. Ch. 36 deja vu

Michael POV

 

"Young man, where do you think you going?!" An outraged cry, came from Gran.

 

"Away" I said vaguely as possible.

 

"I won't allow it! You can't escape and you know that!" Gran's voice raised, my body automatically froze on the spot, as I recalled a memory that was buried at the back of my mind.

 

It was Gran shouting at dad, when we first came back to Germany. I hid behind my mother's legs, as I flinched at their shouting contest.

Gran looked at me with disgust back then, like my blood was not from him. I was obviously unwanted. I think he thought I wouldn't understand what they were saying, but I understood.

 

My mother doesn't know German, so she was freed from the shackles of Gran's tormenting words, like whore or the damned.

That was before Gran heard about Amelia, who was almost the same age as me.

 

"This is not your land! This is my house! My country! And I can do what ever I want!" I said, as I pointed and stomped my feet on the ground.

 

He then stood in a dumbfounded manner, as if I was the wrong one in this fight.

I turned my back, and walked out, luggage at hand. James was already outside, waiting with a Cabbie.

 

I put on a surgical mask, to hide my features and wore a pair of sunglasses, to hide my blue orbs. i then stepped in and leaned back with a sigh, which was a bit muffled by the mask.

 

"Where too, boys?" The old man asked, as he looked at us through the mirror.

 

"London train station" James said, with a smile.

 

The cabbie then nodded, and started to drive. I put my arm around James, as my hand rested on his shoulder, James on the other hand, leaned on the crook of my shoulder.

 

"Something tells me, you boys have been through a lot" the driver said, with a smile growing on his face.

 

"You don't mind?" James asked, as our relationship was fairly obvious from our position.

 

"No, of course not. I actually find it quite touching . . . My son is in the same situation, so I understand the stress" the old man said, giving a wider smile.

 

"I remember my son, so worried about us, not accepting who he was. He brought his Boyfriend with him, when he came out. he was so scared, I could see it in his eyes." he added voicing his perspective.

 

"How did you manage to accept him?!" I asked almost shouting.

He looked confused for a moment, as he lingered in the silence, while James looked at me in shock.

 

"How could I not ? . . ." The driver said, breaking the barrier of doubt and silence.

 

"I spent my whole life loving and caring for him, no parent can ever, really hate their child . . . And all I have ever wished for, was for my children to have happiness in their life. So if this makes him happy, I'll support it" the man said endearingly.

 

"Your children, must be lucky to have a father like you" James said, smiling kindly to the driver.

 

This made a mark on me, it placed my thoughts in a sanctuary of a mind set and hope, that their are people out their supporting this type of relationship.

The rest of the trip, was more random and jokes. the old man had a pleasant personality, and an open minded view.

 

The car suddenly stopped signaling our stop, i then paid the fee and handed the man five, hundred pound notes.

 

"I can't accept this its too much! It's more than your bill" He said, a bit embarrassed and humble.

 

"No, it's not much, but it's for your time, stories and compensation for our questions. you are a good man sir, bless you" I said.

 

"No-no, I don't need your money, I just wanted to share my experience, its the thought that counts" he said, push the money to my hands.

 

"I was happy to help a friend" he added.

 

"No, please I insist" i said.

 

After a few minutes of persuading, he reluctantly accepted the offer. we then shook hands.

 

"My name is Christopher Dickens , not sir. I may be old, but not old enough!" He said.

 

"I'm Michael, and this is James" i said as I gestured to the man.

 

"Here boys, call me if you need a cab. Sorry, this all i can offer" Christopher, said handing us a piece of paper, with written numbers on it.

 

"Thank you, we'll be off then" i said as we, parted with smiles.

 

We took a private couch, which was couch 7. We put our luggage at the top shelf space, until a knock startled us, luckily I haven't took off my mask, yet.

An old gruff man popped his luggage in, an old woman followed, him behind.

 

"Sorry, but this is a private couch" James said, as the old woman, looked at us in an extremely serious manner.

 

She pulled out, two tickets and forward it to James face.

 

"Love, I don't want any trouble. Our tickets said we would stay at couch 7, so we will stay at Couch 7" she said, resting one hand on her hips.

 

"I'll call a couch man to clear this out" James said, as he stood from his seat. I stopped him, by grabbing his arm.

 

"No need, a little company won't hurt" I said, as James sat back down quietly

 

"Thank you, love" the old woman said, smiling at me.

 

"Why did you let them stay?" James whispered, making me smile.

 

"Easy, she reminded me of you when we first met" i whispered back, snicker.

 

"Since we are sharing the couch, might as well introduce ourselves. Name's Benedict and this is my wife, Marianne. pleased to meet you" the old man said, putting out a hand.

 

"Nice to meet you too, my name is Michael, and this is James" i said, gesturing, before shaking his hand.

 

It then fell quiet, i pulled out my pocket book and read. James on the other hand, fell asleep, resting his head on my lap, as luckily because of his compact stature, made our seat enough for his legs.

 

"So, How long have you two been together?" Benedict asked, looking at us. My face fell in confusion, 'how did he know?" I asked myself, as he sighed.

 

"It takes one, to know one. . . I see the way you look at him, it's the same as how I look at my wife, even after all these years" he said, as he looked at the sleeping, grey haired woman that was leaning on his shoulder.

 

"I can't say, because he's been with me for a while now" I said, as I observed his face, if he objected.

 

"Son, don't worry about it, we don't prey on other people's decisions" he said, relieving me.

 

"Is that so, then what about you, how long have the both of you been together?" I asked, making the elder chuckle.

 

"Well, all my life I guess. she was my first and last love" he said looking at her, passing on the feeling of the original concept of true love.

 

" I hope the same happiness for us" i said smiling at Benedict, before turning my eyes to James, as i played with the tip of his hair.


	37. Ch. 37 peace was once a dream

James' POV

"it's time to go" Michael uttered, as shook my shoulder .

i then sat up, so Michael could stand, as my head was rested on his lap. Michael then proceeded to get our luggage and carried it, while I, still in a sleepy state, rubbed my eyes to clear the fuzzy view.

"well boys, it seems this is where we part ways" Marianne announced, as she fixed her paid brown shawl.

"it seems so" Michael said smiling at the elder.

Benedict put out a hand as a gesture of farewell, Michael obliged.

We walked the two to the platform, before Marianne gestured for me to come closer. She gave me a hug, then whispered to me, something that i would never forget.

"In life, you face challenges that may scar your soul, and make you bleed, But if you hold on tight, to that little string for the chance of happiness, hold on and don't let go . . . Just an advice, from an old timer." She said, giving a kind yet mischievous smile.

She then strides to her husband's side, and they walked off to the opposite side of our exiting direction. I couldn't help but rethink her words, it was of pure concern.

I then let out a sigh. i looked over at Michael, who held all our luggage by both his hands.

I took the one on his left hand, which surprised him, by my sudden action.

"You know, I could carry that on my own" he said, as if what i did was the most outrageous thing I've done.

"I know . . ." i said, as i touched the palm of his now free left hand, and intertwined it with my right hand's fingers.

"But I can't hold your hand, if your holding something" i said playfully, as i led him to our exiting direction.

He made a flustered like expression, but still maintained his composure.

"What has gotten into you?" He said, tightening his grip on my hand.

"Nothing at all, i just felt like holding your hand" i said, giving a softened smile.

"Do you think. . . Do you think we could achieve that kind of happiness?" I said, making Michael a little puzzled.

"Like who?" He asked, as we started to walk, at the same pace.

"Like Benedict and Marianne, do you think we'll last that long?" I said, getting an ounce of insecure feelings flowing within my mind, to my own discomfort.

"To be honest, I dont know . . . But, what ever is happening, i always find that i can never stop thinking about you." He said, giving a discreet tone of honesty and shyness.

It has been a while, since i heard him actually speak his mind, even if there was visible indefinite in the statement, it still made me feel flushed and raced my heart beat.

Even though i was feeling this surge of vast emotions, i still don't want Michael to find out, maybe it's because I am selfish or maybe it's the thought of this type of love is just a passing emotion for him, either way i just want to take a safe route.

We were finally out of the station, a man held up a sign with our names written in crude yet bold hand writing. The man's figure was familiar, he had a greying beard in contrast to his light red hair.

"Simon!" I announced with joy, as he looked to our direction.

Michael and I, walled towards the man, as he then gave us each an embrace.

It was good that we were back to our old friendship, considering, before i went to London I apologized to him and made up.

It was also a good thing, that I called him before we left the house to pick us up.

Simon sat on the driver's seat, as Michael and I took the seats at the back.

"So how was London?" He asked, in his usual jolly mood.

"Nothing much, really" i replied, in a somewhat monotone voice, as i pictured an mental image of Edvard and Lia.

The ride went on, Michael and Simon were debating matters of alcohol (as usual). Being as Michael, was on team scotch/whiskey and Simon, was on team red wine/champagne.

"But your Irish! How could you not love whiskey?" Michael retorted, as the intensity of the conversation dug deeper.

" you got me! I love whiskey and wine how about that?" Simon said, admitting a humorous defeat, which made all in the car laugh.

Then it finally subsidies, and silence, poured in, it was comfortable, but I noticed a tenseness on Simon's side.  
He looked at me through the mirror, as if wanting to say something but his mouth was glued shut.

"What is it?" I asked, but he didn't reply.

"Come on mate, tell me!" I said, persuading Simon to say what he was keeping in.

"But you won't like it . . . your father called, he was looking for you. . ." Simon said, making my spin chill, Michael looked at me with innocence, as he knew almost nothing of my past.

A threatening pressure of silence, escaped my presence. I could see that Michael wanted to ask me about my past, I do want to tell him . . . Just not at this moment.

"Le-let's just listen to the radio" Simon suggested, as he turned the car radio on.

He shifted through the stations one by one, until we encountered a familiar voice.

"Stop! Wait- go back" Michael said, in a perplexed voice. Simon, went one station back, and left the turning dial for us to listen.

" i have announcement to make, I am getting married! To the man that I love, that also loves me! . . . "

the voice said in a sweet way, that almost made it sound fake, the voice was extremely familiar, but was stuck at the tip of my tongue.

"To Michael Fassbender!" she announced, in a victorious tone.

I finally remembered who it was . . . And I don't like it. at all.

"Amelia. . . " Michael uttered, in a dazed like shock.

We both knew what was going on . . . Lia is trying to trap Michael.


	38. Ch. 38 disposition

Michael's POV

Silence hung between us, it was awkward and fearful in a way.

"Boys, have you eaten yet?"  
Simon asked, as if brushing off the news. It's probably because, he still doesn't know who i am, but i find it more flexible this way.

"Famished" i said with a professional smile, trying to relieve the tension of the inner walls of the automobile.

Simon drove and parked at the front of his restaurant, where at the glass door hung a 'we are closed' sign.

"I'm going to open up shop, I'm going out first. . . Don't forget to lock the doors." simon uttered the last bit, in a warning tone, before taking the key from the ignition, and slipping it to his coat pocket.

The silence continued, accompanied by our motionless bodies. James steady breathing became hitched, pausing a few moments, before repeating his cycle.

"What's wrong?" I asked, as I felt his shaky hand, claming up, against mine. his warm hand turned slightly cold, as if all his blood went down.

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?! Seriously Michael?! We are in this god forsaken predicament, and that's all you have to say?!" James said, avoiding eye contact with me, was heavy on my shoulders.

"My top priority is you, I don't care for anything else if your at stake. So I'm asking you, are you okey?!" I said, as calmly as i can, while i held the edge of his face and moved it, so he would look at me, eye to eye.

"Don't worry about me, worry about you! I can handle myself just fine." He uttered, as if trying to convince himself instead of me.

"No, your not!" I said, as i got out of my side door, which was the left, and locked it.

i went around the car and opened James' side door, and pulled him out, and locked the door and slammed it.

I opened the door to Merovian, and looked around for Simon's presence. when a blonde woman, maybe around thirty went out from the kitchen door, in a silk robe with butterfly pattern on it.

"Oh my" she said blushing profusely, as she pulled the robe tighter, to cover her figure.

"U-umm sorry, but could you please tell Simon, 'James and Michael won't be back for a while', thank you" i said, directing her, as I walked off still dragging James on one hand.

We walked like that for a while, as James was obviously uncooperative, which attracted stares, from all directions.

"Let go of me, people are staring!" He said, flustered and perplexed by the excessive attention.

"Not until you agree to cooperate!" I said in a dominating voice.

"Ok- alright, i agree already!" He said, as I slowly released.

"Where are we going?" He added, in a curious tone.

"Were going back to Langley, to a time where I'm not 'Michael Fassbender the actor', but a friend . . . Maybe even more this time, i promised didn't I?" I said, giving a mischievous smirk.

"I don't remember that promise" James muttered, crossing his arms.

"Well not directly. i said, 'do you want to go back to hexham?', Well this is a part of it." i said smiling.

We reached Langley and booked a room. we then took the elevator and went to the room, as we entered the room, and threw my weight on the soft bed, but i immediately sat up.

". . . Michael, we forgot our luggage, at the trunk of the car" James said, before bursting into laughter.

"Your dream to recreate the past is failing. horribly at that." James added, still in a fit of laughter.

I cant help but stare just stare at James, he is the most amazing person I know, just his smile makes my day.

"What is it?" He asked, as he pouted.

"Nothing . . . You just finally smiled" i said, smiling.

James, stood at his spot not moving an inch, before he sat next to me. His expression was indescribable, it was with in the realm of a happy yet pain expression. He then looked me in the eye, before embracing me, as he rested his head at the crook of my neck.

"You really are the best" he whispered, feeling his warmth.

I retuned the embrace and touched his back, pulling him closer.

Time passed idly, as we talked about everything and yet, nothing at the same time.

"I never asked, but why did you fall for me? You have millions of people who love you . . . Why me? Why do so much for me?" James asked, as we both stared blankly at the ceiling.

"Because it's you" i said, in a simplified manner.

"That is not an answer" he said, as he scrambled about.

"It is . . . At least for me, i guess no one will truly understand, until you see what i see" i said looking at James.

James' phone vibrated and a soft muffled tone, filled the room, as James answered the call.

His face was mixed with emotions, irritation being one of them is prominent.

"Alright, we'll be there" James said after a while, before ending the call.

"Simon said, we should go, to Merovian and eat . . . There would be a 'guest' there, don't speak to him." James said, before walking out the door.


	39. Ch. 39 father of none

James POV

Michael and I, entered the Merovian vicinity. The smell of fresh parsley and lemons, bombarded my nostrils, as well as the meek smell of fermenting malt.

It wasn't as appetizing at this stage, but the soon to be beer, that Simon was brewing is one of my favorites.

Simon was an excellent cook and brewer, which is why, the Merovian is usually jam packed with costumers, at night, where people around here have free time.

The bitterness of the said beer, is complimented by the oaky after taste, that was just right.

This would have been a great day, to drink all my thoughts away, but alas, a new storm has started to brew on its own pace.

plates and silverware, for diners were in place, even though the place was empty.

But a tinge smell of an out of place perfume, mixed with the sultry atmosphere. it was odd, the perfume was strong and sweet, it was obviously a woman's.

Then my head flash of the image of the blonde woman, she had a sensitive looking face, and a heavy set, yet, curvaceous body.

Michael and I made our was through the staff door going to the kitchen. a broad back of a man greeted us, his face was looking down, in a direction opposite to us.

"Simon?" Michael called out, taking the attention of the cook.

"Ohh, your here! Good timing, i wanted you to meet somebody!" Simon said, looking our way, in a jolly tune.

"Margaret! Love, Could you come to the kitchen for a bit!" Simon called out, to the stairs, that was beside the back door. His voice echoed, in the gentle yet, firm command.

"Coming!" a familiar voice, called back. Making Simon's smile widen.

A woman, appeared striding gracefully down the stairs. her right hand touching the bars by the staircase.

She was the same woman we met, just a few hours ago. the difference being she is now fully dressed, in a bright long bohemian patterned skirt and plain white tee, tucked in the skirt.

"It's you two!" She exclaimed, making me and Michael look at each other, smiling.

"You three seem to know each other" Simon uttered, maintaining his smile.

"Hardly, we just met this morning, remember i told you, two boys barged in here. it's these two!" She said smiling, with a little giggle.

"Well, I expected that message from them, after all these two are the only Michael and James duo I know" Simon chuckled, and went to the woman's side.

" Anyway Margaret, meet James and Michael! James used to be my brother-in-law, and Michael is . . . A friend" Simon said, struggling with an accurate description for their mutualism type relationship.

"Ahh, so your Cecilia's widow, I am sorry for your loss" she said in a sad tone.

"No need, its fine, I'm happy at where i am now" I said politely.

"So Simon, is this your Girlfriend?" I said boldly, the two blushed immensely, while Michael and I giggled at tgeir synced reaction.

"Yes is obviously the answer" Michael said grinning at the two.

"Well, this is a first, you said you'd want to be single all your life, and I quote 'will be the great priest of all alcohol' " i said remembering that time, when he said it at the back brewery.

My statement made Simon fluster, and the others laugh even more.

"Well, that was a long time ago" Simon said winking at Margaret.

"So what would you like to eat?" Margaret asked, flaunting her now noticeably thick accent, which was probably Irish, with a thick dialect, that I couldn't distinguish.

"Two, fish and chips please" Michael said, ordering for the both of us.

"All right, and just for kicks we have black pudding today, so I'll add it in as well" Margaret said, making me smile, it was one of my favorite dishes, so of course i happily obliged.

We strode off, and sat at a couple of seats parallel to the staff door. I could hear Margaret's giggles and Simon's voice, at what I assume was an attempt to tell a joke, but failed horribly.

"I find the two, cute" Michael stated, looking at the door.

"Me too, Simon seemed quite satisfied with her, by his side" i said, with a hinted smirk.

"I also like their simple, romantic gestures." Michael said, this time facing me.

"Wel-" I almost stated, but was cut off, by a startlingly familiar voice.

"James, you finally agreed to see me" the voice uttered, as i turned to face the man.

The man was seated at a wheel chair, being pushed by an intelligent, yet beastly looking man.

"Charles . . . " I said, not uttering any other word.

The seated man, stopped beside our table, which made me grimace.

"Isn't it should be, 'dad' or 'father' " the bald man said, gesturing at me.

"Father?" Michael uttered, in a whisper.

"I have no father!" I said, with a might in my voice.

"The word 'father', is for a role model, a guardian and a man that will always, ALWAYS be there, you are none of that!" i spat, making the man that was assisting him, glare in my direction.

"I am still your biological father" he said calmly, expecting my retaliation.

Michael watched silently, as we bickered on. his eyes suddenly widened, as he stared at the wheel chaired figure.

"Your, the one I saw on TV, a politician" Michael stated, silencing my exchange of harsh words with the figure.

"Im a psychology professor as well, Charles Francis Xavier,   
Pleased to meet you" he said offering his hand, to Michael.


	40. Ch. 40 cluless anger on the grave

Michael's POV

I shook the man's hand, before swiftly retreating it back to my side. I can feel the fuming emotions of James, from my position.

"Let's go!" James demanded, frowning his brow.

"You can't leave just yet, the professor has something to say!" The large, beastly assistant said, revealing an American accent, before shooting glares. He blocked the way to the exit, with his enlarged body.

"Hank. . ." The professor said, making the man, move back to his previous place.

The beastly man, pushed his loose circular glasses, back to the bridge of his nose, which paralleled his view. He shifted around, fixing his plaid shirt and, stood silently, like a shadow.

"Is he one of you 'playmates', because i have, had enough of that!" James said, making the man twitch. it seemed to have stroke a nerve.

"You know full well, that i only loved one person . . . " The elder man said, with diction before being cut off by James.

"And that person, would never be me or my mother!" James exclaimed, shaking with anger.

"It was him! It was and will always be him! No matter how much mom sacrificed, you never loved her, like you loved him!" James exclaimed, biting the edge of his lips until it bled with the force.

"I loved you mother . . . But it was different." He said almost apologetically, his assistant just growled under his breath.

". . . You don't even try to deny it. . . " James said, a crucial nerve, paged on his face obviously hurt.

". . . You won't even listen to me, how would you honestly know. . . " the elder man uttered, as he raised his hand, gesturing to the direction of the staff door.

"Please, come out. . . Our conversation is over, thank you" he said, as Margaret and Simon revealed their location.

"You had something to do with this?!" James said in a betrayed tone.

""I-I just wanted to help!" Simon said, making James shoot glares and fist his hands.

"NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR STUPID HELP! I DONT NEED THIS USELESS CRAP! ALL OF YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MEDDLE WITH MY LIFE!" James said, looking the couple straight in the eyes.

I felt a cold chill pass my spine, his murderous tone exposed in the short exchange of words.

". . . Lets go . . . " James ordered passing, the wheel chaired man and his assistant.

Passing the door, he placed his hand touched his thigh, squeeze it with anger and his it as hard as he can.

His spontaneous self harm, was of dark anger and frustration. i held both his wrists, stopping his actions, trying to calm his boiling anger.

"Let go! This is the Fucking line!" James said, struggling at my grasp.

"Stop, this won't solve anything!" I said, aggravating his anger more.

"I said Let! The fuck! Go!" He said, putting his full strength in the struggle.

"Come with me, for a bit" i said, once again dragging him along the street again.

"Where are we going?" He finally asked, after a few minutes of walking to the end of town. His tone calmed slightly, after the walk.

We finally reached our destination, and passed through the black gates, like before. The crisp tone of dried leaves, echoed at the deserted place.

"Why are we here?" He said looking around, as i finally let go of his hand.

I lead him to the old wooden entrance, passing first the stone pavements by the graves.

"To think, and i want you to visit someone first" i said leading him to the grave, where three people laid.

"Michael stop joking, let's go back" he said, looking warily at the surroundings.

"Hello" i said, greeting the cold tomb stone, then sat at the dirt and grass that occupied the dermis of the plot.

"Come on greet, or else I'll look looney on my own" i said encouraging him, to comply, as he stood there with a dead pan look.

"Hello. . ." He said almost, in a completely monotone tune.

"All right, with them listen as well as me, tell is what is the problem, with your father" i said, in hopes my idea would work.

Because the only way he would ever tell me the whole truth, is to ask the question in front of the people he could never lie to . . . At least it's an honest idea.

"Stop joking . . . Really, Michael . . . Just stop" he said, with a sigh and a melancholy expression.

"I have to know . . . At least this much, give me a chance to understand" i said, in a pleading tone. His lips quivered, like in a brink of tears and anger again.

". . . My mother, she was 'special'. she was orphaned at a young age, and was taken cared for in a foster home. Charles, was her foster parents real son.

she always told me 'Charles was different, he was intelligent and a gentleman in his own right. . . I really loved him'

i always though she was stupid, considering as Charles didn't seem to care for her . . .

The truth is the reason I hate Charles, is because to him I am an accident, one unfortunate drunk accident. . ." He said, stopping to breath, every once in a while.

He seemed completely hurt by, every word that played in his mouth.

"Where is she now?" I asked, hoping that she could be reachable.

"Probably, America with her new husband" he said nonchalantly.

"That's why I'm all alone. . ." He said sadly, and disheartened.

"What's her name?" I asked , as he blankly looked at me.

"I took my mother's last name, Her real name is Olivia Mcavoy, but she's known better as Raven" he said, saying his mother's name sweetly.


	41. Ch. 41 haunting days has come part 1

James' POV

I hate this feeling, this feeling of regret and forgiveness. I hated him to the pits of my heart, but i can't really extract his existence in the fragment of my life, i call past.

He wasn't exactly an absent father, and an un-doting one either. . . I just don't understand his devotion to 'that man'.

Michael was looking at me with all his progressed attention, as his expression gestured to carry on with the story, but some things should be buried six feet underground, where it should rot. Charles is one of those items, and so was his 'lover'. . .

"What's wrong?" Michael asked, leaning a bit closer, to examine me further.

"Lets just leave it at that . . . " i said, stating my obvious discomfort of the said topic.

" alright" he answered, in a slight pout.

We left the old church, walking back to town. the long travel, was quite what i needed to clear my mind.

"Why do you hate Charles?" Michael suddenly said, breaking my fragile train of thought.

"What? . . . " i said, as I tried to analyze the question.

"Why do you hate Charles? I don't necessarily think that your only reason is him not loving your mother . . . Not after the way you acted" he said, looking into my eyes as we stopped our walk mid way.

". . . Michael just stop this. . . " i said, as I walked past him, making a face of grimace.

"I have to know" he said, pulling my arm to stop my march.

"Why?! Why dig it up again?! Look, I've already had enough!" I said, in a fit of frustration.

"At least let me know this much! Let me in!" He said, raising his voice to contend with mine.

"It doesn't concern you. . . " I said, pointing a finger at his chest, then stomping off, in a distance.

"Listen, It does concern me! Because it is about you! I care for you, and i am worried" He shouted, making me look back at him.

"If you actually cared, you would never bring this up again. . . just bury it with the season" I said, frowning a grinch of a look at him.

He was silenced, and bit the edge of his lip in frustration, as if halting his mouth to say any more, than what has been said.

We went our way without a single word, slipping from either out lips. We entered the little town, to our surprise was bustling with, camera flashes and microphones in hoards, walking around.

I looked at Michael, and saw an expression of great annoyance, and absolute displeasure.

As one of the hoards noticed Michael's presence, they immediately stampeded to him, pulling out recorders and pointing it at his face. He was immediately bombarded by, curious questions, that piled up like a mountain.

I on the other hand couldn't help him, and stood in the background dumbfounded, at the group of people.

"I won" a voice said, as a tap on my shoulder caught my attention.

And i just saw the flowing brunette hair, of a woman in a floral red dress. as she walked into the crowed, and interlocking her arm on Michael's.

"Lia, look here" some said, in a dreadful repetitive,broken chorus.

The curious cast of reporters, asked more questions, but this time for the two. Michael tried to slip away, but was held to place, by Lia's arm.

She then looked my way, and made a smug expression, as she pressed Michael's arm to her chest.

With this War has been drawn.


	42. Ch. 42 haunting days has come part 2

Michael's POV

"Don't make a fool of yourself, tell them the truth" I stated, not caring if it is audible to the press or not.

"Shut up and smile" Amelia said, while putting on a professional smile.

I pushed her off, with the flashing lights directed at us, as i ran, taking James' hand.

"Run" i said, going to the opposite direction of the press, in which they followed us in a mad chase. luckily after staying here a while, I remembered a small alley between two brick houses, we took a turn to shake them off, which thankfully succeeded, giving us time to breath.

"What do we do now? We can't stay stuck here, until they finally find you" James asked, as we evaluate the present situation.

" . . . Maybe it's time. . . " I said, running my hand through my hair in frustration.

my quiet little persona here in Hexham is officially gone, now all that's left is to break news.

"Time for what?! Michael what in the lords name are you planning?!" James frantically said, shaking me in the process.

I don't want to push upon him the attention he most likely dreaded, but this is the only way i know, to make all this go away.

I took James' arm and dragged him, to the edge of the alley, and pushed him back up the wall. I heard the patters of footsteps coming closer and closer to our location.

"Im sorry. . . " I said, as i lifted James' chin, and pressed my lips against him, he struggled a bit, as he tried to push me away. But in the end gave in, a couple of flashes came to our attention as it faced our way.

"Now. Now we run again" I said, as i held his hand, and went to the opposite direction of the alley. We escaped the press, by entered an open door of an apartment building complex. We caught our breath, and looked around the place, it looked abandoned.

Cobwebs were everywhere, dust was collected by the few furnitures that were left, which was just an old wooden varnished table and three chairs.

We were silent at most, but this tension was broken as we both released a breathy laugh.

"You did it for me, didn't you?" James uttered, his tone making the words sound like it was a favor, like i was, in fact an unwilling participant.

"No. I did it for me, just think of it as a selfish man's tag of ownership" i said, making a smirk.

"After this, I promise to spoil you rotten. Even if you don't want me to" I added making, him smile and giggle.

"I expect you to accomplish that promise, mr. Fassbender. After all i am very hard to spoil" James said cheekily.

"But before that, how do we get to Simon, without being caught?" James' asked, making me think through possible solutions.

"We can't call Steph, it would take her at least a day to get here. We also surely can't drag Simon out here with his car . . . There is that other option, but I think you won't like it. . . " I said reluctantly.

" what is it, tell me" he demanded, frowning a bit.

". . . Professor Xavier . . . " I said, making James frown even more and uttered a few curses under his breath.

". . . Alright, but that doesn't mean I'm going to like it. . . Desperation really is a scary emotion. . . " James said, in a half hearted yes.

He then proceeded to pull out his phone, and dialed the professor's number in an excruciatingly slow manner, like he was rethinking his decision.

"Hello?" The voice at the other end said.

"It's me, pick us up will ya, don't ask why. I know you already have the answer to that" James said, so casually that it was odd in another level.

There was this momentary silence, from the professor, like he was never there.

"Where are you?" He asked, like the scenario a a few hours ago never occurred.

"Meet us at the fifth alley, by Miss McDuff's bakery. Avoid the press as much as possible, do what ever you need to get them off your tail. I think you won't have a problem with that . . . " James said in a demanding voice.

"Very well, meet us at exactly one hour. . . I can take off the attention from you for a while, but maneuvering a black Chrysler isn't the most inconspicuous car, in the world. And i can only hold them off for a while . . . I'm telling you this now, i would need Erik's help. . . If that is you want to proceed with the plan" the professor said, saying the unknown man's name so endearingly.

". . . Alright." James said, before ending the call.

"Looks like your wish came true. . . You'll finally meet the man that pulled my childhood apart . . . " James said, with a sarcastic smile.

"Who-" i said but was cut off immediately.

"You'll find out soon enough" James said, almost certain of what i was going to ask.

"But what can two people do? There is a sea of people looking for us" I asked, before he could stop me again.

"You'd be surprised, at how good politicians are at stealing attentions and making up stories" James said, as if he was used to these events.

"They make the most believable cover ups, like mind games to the audience, no one really knows how. . .it's like a super power, where they get into your mind." he said in a nonchalant way.

" anyway, first thing first . . . We have to find a way to finish the problem with Lia" James' added making me think of Gran. . .

This would be a bloody battle of pride. . .


	43. Ch. 43 media hounds

Michael's POV

After what felt like an hour, a familiar looking man, peeked at the broken window panes of the abandoned complex.

He then proceeded to knock on the door, in response James immediately opened the door revealing the assistant from before.

"I never thought, I would say this but, it's nice to see you!" James said, praisingly with hints of sarcasm.

"Not so much for me . . . " Hank said, in a frustratedly irritated voice.

"I don't see the value, the professor sees in you. . . " Hank added, making James smirk.

"I am his one and only, true flesh and blood, I am a part of him! And what you hate the most about me, is that I am the child of the women you loved . . . With another man" James said, making it obvious that what happened a few hours ago was just an act, when they 'met for the first time' today.

The gazes they exchanged, as a shared past pressed their expressions, like shards of glass on skin. It was painful atmosphere, of hate and arrogance from both sides.

Silence hung between the two parties, with an immeasurable number of cold gazes being exchanged.

Hank, lead us to a custom made vintage black Chrysler. We rode at the back seat, as the trip was in an absolute absence of communication.

At mid travel, a sudden hoard of a myriad number of flashing lights, surround the said car, with only the tinted windows, hiding our identity.

"What's happening?!" James asked, in the most distressed voice.

I could only answer him in a distressed expression, but this scenario was well planned, too well planned in the most indescribable way. The third presence in the car, stayed awfully quiet, like his mouth was suddenly glued shut, and by intuition, I know he was a part of this hoard of a mess.

"What's going on?" I asked him, as he bluntly ignored my query.

"I said, WHAT'S GOING ON?!" I uttered in the most irritatedly dominating voice i can muster, which effectively made my two companions flinch, in the sudden change of tone.

His sudden silence, made me lose, my temper, leaving a small space for patience.

"Hank, i am a kind man . . . But if you don't answer me now! . . . " i said, leaving great pressure at my chosen words, making sure that the recipient fully understood, my soon-to-be wrath.

I looked at him, through the car mirror making sure hank saw my fierce glare, pinning directly at him, coiling him in my distrust and irritation.

". . . It was not my decision, i was just instructed. . . " Hank said, almost in a fearful way.

"I Don't care for such useless facts, just tell us 'your' instructions" i said, making my tone softer.

" . . . The professor . . . The professor would name James as his successor. . . " Hank said, a little shaken, from retelling the past conversation.

"A successor to what, exactly?" I asked, as i looked at James features.

He looked considerably unfazed , as if he already knew. On the other hand, I anxiously waited Hank to continue on.

"He gave him everything, the Xavier Mansion, the Xavier Institute and his position as adviser to international diplomatic relations. . . I told you, he gave the boy everything!" The man added.

"But, what does that have to do with this?" I asked, in ignorance.

"He announced it, didn't he?" James said, cutting in on the conversation.

"I'm afraid so. . . " Hank said, finally showing a genuine emotion, except for anger.

"So this is his way of a diversion, did Erik play a part on this?" James said, in a nonchalant voice, as he peered on the beastly American.

The beastly man, looked forward to the front window of the car, not daring to look back.

"Your silence is a yes" James uttered, to himself in an audible fashion.

"Get the press off our tail, then buy me a suit immediately!" James, ordered in a domineering way.

Hank didn't lift a finger and just, once again ignored James' call.

"You know, you have to obey. . . And you know better than anyone, that what I'll do is for the better" James uttered, as he indulged in the information, with a tyrannic tone.

Soon after, Hank reacted to the words, and meekly obeyed, in silence.

The American soon, witlessly drove away from the slow paced scene. In high speed, he almost trampled some of the curious reporters and civilians.

Hank parked the Chrysler in a secluded area, then he got off, wordless.

As soon as the driver's door shut, I demanded answers, with my brows knitted together in curious rage.

"Tell me, what exactly do you have to do?" I asked, in complete curiosity.

". . . I-I'm sorry, I can't say" James said, avoiding my eyes.

This action made, every cell in me break down in anger. I was already too fed up, with all these surprises and mysteries, that my temper cracked.

"Look at me!" I grabbed the edge of his face, to look to me, eye to eye.

" I have gave you everything of me! I sacrificed my family, my career and my future for you! Just for you! I told you about almost everything about me! You on the other hand, you just keep everything to yourself. . . I can't see a future with you, if you keep on doing this to me . . . " i said, pressing a hand on my chest, which had a sped pace, that slowly depleted with my gradual   
losing rage.

James looked at me, as he held the ring I gave him, that hung effortlessly around his neck. He clenched tightly the item with his hand, which he did for emotional comfort.

" I-I'm going to the announcement meeting with the press. . . I'm accepting the responsibility, this way I can fix everything that I've done" James said, stuttering his words.

"James, there is nothing to fix!" I said in a reassuring manner.

" no, I ruined everything for you. . . I'm sorry, I made exactly what i hates the most, which is charles mistake as well. . . " James said in a melancholy look, almost in the brink of tears.

" . . . I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have. . . This must be my punishment" he added.

"What do you mean?" I asked, as tears finally streamed down his pale face.

"I-I was breed to do this, after I was born, so I know this better then anyone, that The moment that I accept, I can never come home to you. . . I can never go back here and can never see you again. . . " James said, in a heart wrenching way.

"And why is that?" I asked with a confused expression.

"Because, it's just a job above on the surface, it's what's below that is important, I'm going to be taken, Michael and I'm sorry"

"What are you talking about?!" I demanded but he just shook his head.

"I can't say, sorry" he said simply.

"Michael, my quiet life is officially over, and so is yours . . . I really am sorry"


	44. Ch.44 X-pression

Michael's POV

"James, I don't understand. . . Explain it to me!" I said, trying to unlock the given information. James frowned at me, disapproving of my troubling persistence.

"If you love me, you'll let me go, it's for your own good as well" James uttered in a saddened tone.

This struck me the most, that saddened tone, like it was our last day in the world together. His face drew a look of pain, and my utter ignorance did not help the situation either.

It was like i was held down with the choice of taking a pill of cyanide or Resin, taking either could kill me, my spirit.

"You have to make me understand! why can't you make me understand!?" I said feeling the depth of my agitated frustration, coiling my voice.

"I-I'm . . ." James uttered, his mouth drying from the sudden invasion of the interrogative words, he was obviously on the verge of answering the given questions, but because of horrid timing and fate, a knock on the door took our attention.

Hank stood in the cold waiting for us to let him in, James swiftly opened the door to let the man in.

I swiftly got out pulling James with me, getting a strange confused look from the assistant. James struggled, as I pulled him under a near by pine tree.

His back leaned on the bark, while i cornered him, with my arms parallel to his face, making my face a inches from his face.

"Tell me. . ." I said, as the last straw was pulled from my patience. I've had it with all the secrets and such. I-I just wanted to be of use to him. I was too mentally and spiritually fatigued, with all the twist and turns.

James looked into my eyes, his lips trembled, his hands clenched tight. He never liked being preyed upon, that is what I learned as i stayed with him.

He also never wants to feel left out or forgotten, so I try to give him pieces of me gradually. But he never truly reciprocated it, and I was fed up.

"I-I . . . Alright . . . But not here" James uttered, before persuading me to go back in the black vehicle.

We one again entered the car, as I patiently looked at him, waiting for a proper response.

"The Xavier institute isn't entirely what it seems. . . It's a surface for its real purpose. . ." He said, as he looked warily around, suspicious of his surroundings.

"And that is?" I asked, as I contorted my face to a expression of anticipation.

"An anti-terrorist center . . . To create anti- terrorist detections and weapons" James uttered, feeling how obnoxious it must sound to a civilian. Hank just stayed silent, as if he had heard this conversation in repeat multiple times.

"But that place is filled with children, teens how could that be possible?" I asked, soon feeling a sudden tension from James.

"You don't get it . . . The children are the weapons . . . " James felt his mouth dry up once again.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling more puzzled then before.

" they are all special, gifted to be exact. Geniuses in their own field . . . Some possess superior intellect, athletic skills . . . you don't know how special those children are." James uttered, exuding the feeling of amazement and fear. 

"an example of one the previous students of the institute is Hank, over here." James added, now sounding a little enthusiastic, while the assistant grunted in response.

I just nodded, still in a state of disbelief. It sounded ridiculous, but judging from his and the beastly man's expressions they were serious. 

"but, why didn't you just tell me?" I said, feeling a certain distance of the secrecy.

"i didn't want you, to be tangled up with my family. . . if you only knew how much I wanted to escape this retched life . . . " James uttered, emotions expressing a state of expatiated crumbling. 

there was nothing i could comprehend, his eyes looked at me, pleading. Even with the strains of my demands, in which James complied to, I couldn't think of a way to relieve him of his worries. all I could do, was kiss his forehead, as a brief comfort.


	45. Ch. 45 the last of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I edited the previous last chapter for a clearer one.

James POV

The news about Michael and I have already spread through out Europe. Frankly, his phone exploded with questions about how and why, this relationship has happened. I was worried and nervous at the out come, I didn't want to ruin his life, his career for me. Just me.

I put on the suit that hank bought for me, it was a grey three piece pinstriped set with a white shirt tucked in my slacks and black polished leather shoes to contrast.

"What are you going to do?" Michael asked me, looking in my eyes with a strong concern.

"I-I'm not sure, but all I want is peace and to stay out of this . . . Thing . . . I can't explain what this situation is" I said with all I can muster. I really didn't know how to explain this, and I was so confused on what was the right thing to do.

I dont care about the money, the fame and the popularity that . . . Charles was capable of giving. All I wanted was to forever see that beautiful bright smile on Michael's face.

Michael being the taller man, bent down to give me a peck of encouragement. He whispered kind words to my ear, telling me 'whatever you decide on doing, whatever may happen. . . Just know I'd follow you till the ends of this earth, just to see your face. I love you' the beating of my heart raced, with just the last sentence fragment. It really never gets old.

I stepped out, as a lane of flashing lights and the echoing sound of clicks bombarded my sight and hearing.

I entered the vicinity half unsure and half determined to be free, a crowd of people stood at the sight of me. A surge of doubt lay it's hand upon my head. I was scared and frozen in place.

All the reporters spat their out raged questions, looking for a scoop, I felt numb, but suddenly a familiar hand, held mine. And walked me to the booth, i looked up to see a stoic faced Michael looking at the crowd confidently.

"Is it true that you two are together?" A couple of reporters spat about. His hand suddenly tightened it's grip on mine. He was scared too, he knew the judging eyes of the world was on us, and yet he soldiered on . . . For me.

With an inhale of breath he uttered "yes and i am proud, happy and contented with it" before flashing his million dollar smile. I looked at the crowed who seemed to be at awe seeing it live, flesh and blood.

I felt a small spark within me, I-I am feeling jealous? I slowly understood that I was greedy for Michael's attention, smiles, his everything.

"How did this happen?" One reporter a blonde woman asked, looking sharply at us. I didn't know if it was of disgust or intrigue.

"Well we met by accident on the train, if I may comment the situation was like that of a Nicholas Sparks book" Michael said, making the stressful situation a tad but lighter. The crowd chuckled a bit as well as his famously comical yet gentlemanly demeanor, took center stage.

"But America glamour model, Lia Smith confirmed that you were engaged to her!" A reporter in red, shouted by the back, that took everybody's interest.

My palms sweated at the question. How do I explain this crude situation? I really didn't know. . . But the reporter seemed to support Lia, more than me. It hurt to know that even in this modern day, a lot of people still dont accept relationships like ours.

"First of all I did not propose to her nor did I love her. . . It was a misunderstanding in my family's part." Michael as he clutched my hand, under the booth. His nervousness seeps out but only for me to feel, he masked it well enough for no one else to notice.

"Then what about the Xavier school? What would happen to it?" A male reporter shouted, as he wiggled his way to the front of the crowd.

I thought for a moment, i let out a quivering sigh, as I thought of the best step to get this over and done.

"The school will still continue, with or without me it doesn't matter. Because I know we would step forward for the future." I uttered with great confidence.

"But you would be neglecting your duties as the only heir of the Xavier group. If your going on galavanting with some man, you won't be able to produce an heir!" An angry activist said, with such an offended tone. I know I wouldn't be able to produce a child. . . I already thought of that a long time ago, I am not a woman and neither is Michael. But I can be happy, I want to be happy even without a child.

"That is not my responsibility! Xavier school is and has been founded with the concepts of equality, individuality and change! So applying such feudal concepts is inappropriate considering we are promoting equal  opportunities for all" I said, as I remember the words that Charles used to repeat to me as a child. I silently prayed that maybe this time the world would do me a favor and save us from this mess, and maybe even be happy.

I haven't felt happy in so long, after losing Cecilia and the children. But I found it again in Michael after all these years, so I can't afford to lose him. I can live without him.

"Accepting yourself is the highest compliment you could give to yourself and the people around you. Give them a chance to show themselves as well, so we could live in peace." It made me smile knowing that the repetitive knowledge actually helped.

Alas, the crowd of reporters bustled on. Some outraged and others were satisfied. The mixed emotions, gave way to a thick tension between the opposing groups. We were trapped in a sea of judges.

But then a loud squeaking noise silenced the room. We all looked at the left side of the stage to se Charles, looking quite proud at me. Mixed feeling took over me, I finally saw hint of Charles being . . . The father he was supposed to be.

"I think a proper announcement should be in place . . . " Charles said, wheeling himself to the podium. We all stared on, as we listened to the politician attentively.

"I believe that they deserve a break. . . They deserve to be acknowledged like any other lovers out there.

I have hid my son from the public for more than thirty years. Because I wanted to give him a normal life, giving him the freedom and happiness he deserves.

So today I would like to make three announcements. . .   
The first being, I am stepping down as the head of the Xavier group and as a politician.

Second, my son will not succeed me. . .

Third and lastly, my dear friend, Henry Philip 'Hank' Mccoy would in his stead.

That would be all, thank you" Charles uttered, as gasps escaped from the crowd. People looking quite unsettled, while others were just unsure of what to say.

My shocked expression was changed with a thankful one. The world has answered my prayers, even if it's just this once.

Michael grabbed my hand, as we snuck out of the tension infested room. As we finally went out of the building, another hoard of people waited by the gate. We ducked down and ran as fast as we could away from them. I was free, a wide smile plastered on my face.

We saw a little alley that we could escape to, and so we took our chance and took the turn. As we looked back, we noticed no one following us so we took a rest as we panted breathlessly. Michael gave out a snicker before laughing out loud, he cupped my face and kissed my lips. Again that tingling feeling never changes.

"We keep on running away, don't we?" Michael said, giving a playful wink.

"Who's fault do you think it is?" I said, throwing his comment back at him. My face felt burning hot.

"Ours" he said, as he started to laugh louder.

Michael suddenly looked around, suspiciously. He looked at me with an amused look and held both of my hands. I gave his a weird look, trying to express my concern with his actions.

"Seriously i have the most terrible of timings" he uttered as he knelt down on one knee.

He brought out a little velvet box and looked up, into my eyes. My heart started to flutter. . . Fast.

"This time I wanted to do it right, but i guess nothing goes as planned when I'm with you . . .

James Mcavoy-Xavier, you are my surprise adventure, would you marry me?" Michael said, looking at me expectantly.

Tears slipped from my eyes as I let out a loud sigh.

"Yes. Finally" was all I could say, as tears streamed down my face.

The end

**Author's Note:**

> please critic if you like it or not, all opinions is accepted :)
> 
> thank you for reading


End file.
